JM BENAVIDEZ

I was wearing a black dress that flowed in the wind as I spun through the air. Strong arms wrapped tightly around my waist, keeping me safe from falling. "Just relax Meira, feel the movement, let it take you." I closed my eyes, dropping my arms and leaning back against whoever held me. I could probably figure it out if I really thought about it, but I was too caught up in the sensation of flying, or maybe it was dancing through the air. As we swirled closer to the ground, I noticed we were entangled in a massive silken cloth that hung down from the ceiling. "I'm going to set you down, just keep your hand up in the air." I must have blinked because the next thing I knew, I was standing in the center of the room and whoever had been holding me was swinging away from me. He ran across the floor, holding the cloth and then jumped up into the air, spinning himself so that the cloth wrapped around his waist. 

I narrowed my eyes, trying to make him out. But it was too dim to really tell. He wore black like I did and he had short hair. Was it black maybe? Or dark brown? "Hold out your hand." He called down to me and I raised it up for him as he looped back towards me, gripping my hand and bringing me up into the air with him. He hooked his ankle around mine; raising my feet so that my head hung down towards the floor and both my hands and feet arced towards the ceiling like a bow. My dress fluttered in the wind and I smiled at the beauty of it. I felt amazing, so safe, so treasured. 

This dance was unlike anything I had ever experienced or seen. Something about it felt familiar and I racked my brain; where did I know it from? My mysterious dance partner reached out and took my other hand. "Are you ready for me to flip you?" My mind clicked as I realized who held me in his arms. "Yes?" I squeaked, realizing how enamored I had felt just moments before. A quick jerk and he flipped me onto my back, completely letting go of me as we flew through the air. My arms and legs flew backwards as he wrapped his arm around my back, holding all of my weight with one arm as he held onto the cloth above his head. My mouth fell open as I looked up into the face of the man I had known my whole life but had never seen this look from him. His smile was breathtaking; his eyes sparkled with an expression that could only be explained as one that radiated love. Not the type of love I was used to either. This man holding me was no longer my uncle; he was a man in love with me. I gasped up into Zaazanach's face as he leaned down to kiss me.

I shot straight up in bed, gasping frantically as I tried to get the vision of my uncle out of my mind. What the hell? I rubbed my hands briskly over my face, trying to calm myself enough to focus. A quiet snort next to me brought me back to reality. I frowned down at the two men sleeping next to me and then carefully slipped off the end of the bed. I quietly closed the bathroom door and headed straight for the sink, splashing water on my face. When it didn't seem to help, I decided to jump into the shower and try to wash the horrific experience down the drain. As I crouched in a ball under the hot water spray, I rocked softly. Of all of the people I could have had a dream about last night, why him? Any of my brothers I could have accepted. It wouldn't have made me happy, but I could have accepted it. But him? This felt wrong on so many more levels. 

I stood up, shoving my face into the stinging spray. What was worse was that I had enjoyed every second of it. I probably radiated that same sickening love struck expression back to him. Had I leaned in for his kiss? I knew that part of me had wanted it. I fisted my hands in my hair. What about the two guys sleeping in my bed? I snarled. What about my mom? I felt like I was going to be sick and I groaned miserably. Was this just my mind running away with me? Or was this another one of the Creator's dreams? Was he just trying to prove a point that I shouldn't be rushing into anything because I had options? I mean realistically, there was no reason I couldn't have a relationship with him. We weren't related in any way. I groaned. Except, the fact that he had fathered one of my mother's children. 

There was a soft tap on the bathroom door. "I'm in the shower." I called and there was a soft mumble. "Ok, I'll wait." I shut off the water and shook the water from my short hair. I wasn't ready to face the outside world, but I didn't seem to have a choice. I wrapped my hair up in a towel and then wrapped another one around my body. I opened the door slowly and the expression on Zuriel's face told me he had experienced a similar dream. "That good huh?" He shook his head and I let him into the bathroom as I exited. Amadeus groaned and rubbed his face roughly as I walked past the bed towards the closet. He threw his arm against the pillow and then turned his head towards me, watching me as I walked by. I lowered my face, feeling guilty for wanting to check him out after the feelings my dream had stirred up in me. "Did you have another dream last night?" He asked quietly. I nodded and stepped into the closet. "Yeah." I closed the door behind me and placed by back against it, sliding down the door to the floor.

I could hear Zuriel walk back into the room and the two guys mumbling softly to each other but I couldn't make out what they were saying. They didn't sound happy though. I quickly got dressed, throwing on a pair of blue jeans and one of my favorite olive green t-shirts. I slowly opened the door, poking my head out. They were both sitting casually on the bed and turned towards me. I wrinkled my face at their troubled expressions and then scratched the back of my head. I knew they were trying to come up with the right thing to say. I sighed. "So I was thinking about yesterday and while I had a really great time, I think it's a little unreasonable for us to jump into a relationship so seriously after just one day." I looked down at my feet and then back up into their eyes. "What do you think?" 

Amadeus frowned. "Are you saying that because you think it's what we want you to say?" I shook my head. "No, I'm saying it because it's pretty obvious we all had dreams last night about people who aren't in this room and the last time we had dreams like that it got us here." Zuriel shook his head. "It doesn't have to be that way." I snorted. "Really? After a dream and one amazing day you think that I'm the one for you? How do you know that the girl in your dream last night won't be an even better fit?" He started to speak and I held up my hand. "You don't. Now, I'm not saying that I don't like you and it's quite possible that we could end up right back here. But don't you think you owe it to yourself to figure out what all the options are first?" Amadeus raised an eyebrow. "Owe it to ourselves? What about you?" I laughed and thought it came out sounding a little hysterical. "No, I don't think so. At least not anything like the dream I had last night." Zuriel raised an eyebrow. "Why? Who did you dream about?" I shook my head. "Nope, I don't want to talk about it. And honestly, I really don't want to know who you dreamt about either." 

Amadeus stood up and walked around the bed towards me. "So we're just going to pretend like none of this happened? Like yesterday wasn't as important as it was?" I smiled, softening my stance. "No, we are going to always remember how amazing it was and hopefully we'll be able to repeat parts of it." I looked at Zuriel. "But there are parts of it that we probably won't repeat because now we're a little wiser about all of this and won't let our emotions and hormones get the better of us." Zuriel shook his head and stood up, his posture a little more hostile than I would have liked. "Yeah, ok." He walked into the closet and grabbed his clothes. He pulled on his shirt as he walked back out of the closet. "In that case, I guess there's really no reason for us to be here then. So I'll see you both around later." He stalked out of the room and I cringed when the door slammed behind him. 

I closed my eyes, awaiting Amadeus to do the same thing, but he didn't. He stood there watching me. "He's just hurt. He didn't mean it the way it sounded." I shook my head. "No, I'm pretty sure he did. But that's alright he's got options and I get time to figure out what the hell is going on around here." When I opened my eyes he was frowning. "You have options too and that still includes us." I smiled. "Did you enjoy your dream last night?" He shrugged. "It was alright but it felt wrong." I nodded. "Yeah, but part of you wished it wasn't." He tilted his head. "You too?" I nodded. "Yeah, but mine isn't an option." He laughed softly. "You seemed pretty sure that we weren't either." I shook my head. "Yeah but thinking about you guys never made me sick to my stomach either." He raised an eyebrow. "I can see you don't want to talk about it with me, but maybe you should talk about it to someone else." I shook my head. "Nope." He shook his head. "Well, he probably had the same dream you did." I cringed. "He better be freaking out as much as I am. That's all I'm saying." 

Amadeus shook his head. "Alright, well I guess I'll let you freak out by yourself then." He grabbed his clothes from the bathroom and then walked back up to me. "I'm still here for you. Even if both of us end up with someone else, I'm still here." I sighed and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thanks Amadeus, for everything." He tilted my head back, looking down into my eyes. "It may be very hard to look at you without wanting to kiss you, so cut me some slack if I seem weird ok." I nodded, looking up at him. "I know what you mean." He pulled my arms from his waist and dropped them at my sides. "Have a good day today, ok." I faked a smile for him, knowing I would probably spend it holed up in my new house. "You know it. You too, ok." 

He nodded, patting my cheek affectionately and then walking past me towards my front door. I think he may have hesitated at the door and looked back at me, but I never turned to find out. I sighed loudly, collapsing into a small pile on the floor. I laid my head on the ground, caressing my cheek over the soft carpet. "Why are you doing this?" I mumbled to the Creator, knowing he wouldn't answer. A silent tear slipped down my cheek as I once again felt overwhelmed by my self-perceived shortcomings. I lay there, wallowing until I drifted off into a quiet, dreamless slumber.

I was vaguely aware of warm hands scooping me up off the floor and moving me to my bed. I curled towards the warm body, holding my eyes tightly closed, afraid to find out who held me. They petted my head tenderly, brushing my hair back from my face as I drifted back off to sleep. Sometime later I awoke, my head resting against their chest. I blinked several times, trying to gain the courage to look up. "Do you feel better now?" My dad's quiet, deep voice was like music to my ears. I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him tightly. He wrapped his arms back around me, comforting me. I smiled up at him. "You always make it better." He looked into my face as he had thousands of times before; ready and eager to chase away whatever had upset me. My father had always been there for me. Since we all shared a mother, I had felt less inclined to trouble her when my father was mine exclusively. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was reassuring and his face showed no signs of reprimand. "How much do you know?" He tilted his head looking down at me. "I know that a lot of the kids shared the same dream last night and that they were coupled differently than they were in the dream the night before." He paused as I considered what he was saying. "I also saw Zuriel stalk out of your apartment this morning, followed shortly after by a very calculated Amadeus. Which tells me that you know that they weren't dreaming about you last night." I nodded and he wrinkled his brows. "I also know that you weren't in the group dream with the other kids." I buried my face in his chest groaning miserably. 

"I know this because I know who you had a dream about last night." I looked up into his face. "How do you know?" He raised his eyebrows giving me a knowing glance, reminding me how much my father seemed to know about everything. "Because he was on my doorstep before Zuriel ever left your house this morning." I wondered how well that conversation had gone over. "What did he say?" My dad shook his head. "It wasn't what he said; it was how he said it." I nodded. "Was he freaking out like I did? I mean it's awful isn't it?" He shrugged. "Awful is relevant to your point of view. It's really no different than you being interested in any of the guys your age." I shook my head. "Yes it is! He is a father of one of my mother's children! My mom!" I groaned, hiding my face against him again. "So let me get this straight. You aren't upset that the guys dreamt about other girls last night. You don't care about how much older than you the guy you dreamt about is. But the fact that he fathered one of your mom's kids?" I shook my head. "It's not quite like that. It's the fact that he's hers. A part of her heart belongs to him. I have no right to try and take that from her." 

My dad smiled, hugging me softly. "That's my girl." I shook my head. "What?" He laughed. "You are upset for the right reasons and I'm proud of you, that's all." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Did you have dreams about anyone last night?" He raised his eyebrows, chuckling. "Me? No. Did you want me to?" I shook my head. "No, I think its weird enough I did. It is awkward though. I've always looked at the others sort of like how I look at you. So having a dream like that makes me uncomfortable." He nodded. "That's what Zaaz said." Part of me was relieved to hear it, but part of me was sad at the same time. 

My dad tilted my chin up looking down into my face. "He also said that he had really wanted to kiss you." His eyes met mine. "Even after he woke up. Which is why he got out of bed and came to see me." I grimaced. "Yeah, I woke up between Zuriel and Amadeus and made a beeline for the shower, trying to scrub him out of my mind." His eyebrows rose. "You woke up between them?" I giggled. "Boy it sounds bad doesn't it?" He nodded and I shook my head. "We just slept and we wore pajamas." He nodded, relief running over his face. I grimaced. "Is it bad that we all wanted to do more?" He laughed and squeezed my shoulders. "No it isn't. But I would prefer not to know about your sexual interest or conquests alright." I nodded. "It sounds like a deal." I frowned. "And I don't want to know about yours." 

I shivered as I thought about the possibility of him showing interest in any of my sisters. He looked down at me. "First of all, I agree and second of all, if she's younger than you, she's not an option. But I can't see myself showing interest in anyone other than your mother." He wrinkled his brows. "But I haven't had any of these dreams either. I have a feeling that changes things." I nodded. "Yeah, in a messed up yet mildly entertaining way." 
I sighed remembering my dream. "Did he tell you what we were doing in the dream?" He shook his head. "No, I asked him not to. I wanted to give you privacy." I smiled at his thoughtfulness. "It was amazing. We were flying through the air on these long cloths and doing some sort of dance." My dad looked impressed as he nodded. "An aerialist performance, nice." I nodded. "I kind of wish it was real. The feeling of flying like that was incredible." He smiled down at me. "Why don't you ask him to teach you?" I shook my head. "Nope. I'm not about to spend alone time with the guy I just wanted to kiss in my dreams." My dad shrugged. "Well, you can." 

I shook my head. "What about mom? Does she know?" He shrugged. "I don't know. But if it makes you feel better, maybe you should talk to her about it." I sat up groaning. "Yeah, hey mom, does it bother you that I shared a romantic-ish dream with Zaazanach?" I shook my head. "I don't think so." My dad sat up, patting my knee. "She's a grown up and she might surprise you with insight to help ease your mind." I shook my head again. "I don't think I'll be broaching that topic anytime soon. I'd just like to forget the dream ever happened." He stood up from the bed and shrugged. "Suit yourself. Hey, the real reason I came by was to tell you that the kids had so much fun yesterday and after their dreams, they asked us to open back up the dance hall and lounge. So if you venture out into the real world, there's plenty of stuff to do." 

I nodded. "Alright, I'll think about it." He raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you shy away from dancing?" I shrugged. "Since I was one of the only ones not in the dream with everyone last night." He shook his head, casting me a stern glance. "If you really want to forget about your dream, you need to distract yourself. Get cleaned up and go dance. I'm not asking you." My dad used his authoritative voice and I sighed. "Alright, fine." He nodded and then headed for my door. "Good. Now don't take too long like you did yesterday. I want you to get more than one dance in." My mouth fell open and he smiled as he left me alone in my house.