JM BENAVIDEZ

I was born two years ago, but I am the mental and physical equivalent of a twenty four year old. Because time has stopped in this realm, our bodies age quite rapidly and then stop. I will never look a day older than I do now. In fact most of my siblings won't either; the youngest four have a few more months to go before they stop aging. Our mother's pregnancy with each of us lasted only a few short days and by the time we had been alive for a month, our bodies and minds had reached a years' worth of advancement. I am the tenth of seventeen children; the third in line of the six girls and I have eleven half-brothers. There are thirty two of us in total that live in this realm and unless my mother has any more children, that's all there will ever be. My father; Sarandiel; is one of fourteen fallen angels that were sent to this realm over three thousand years ago. My mother was a gift to the fallen from the Creator and they were his gift to her. As a surprise to them all, the Creator allowed my mother to bear children to the fallen when they had been restored from their curse and no longer considered angels. It's kind of a long story, but you get the gist of it, so I'll try to bring you up to date on current events.

 

The first thing you'll probably want to know is the names of everyone, although it can get confusing so don't worry, I'll try to remind you as we go. My mother's name is Aeowynne and the fourteen fallen angels in order by age are as follows: Azrael, Aftiel, Sabrathan, Tartys, Halon, Fremiel, Zaazanach, Abasdarhon, Mendrion, Gastrion, Pamyel, Vraniel, Dardariel and my father, Sarandiel. The second generation of this realm; my generation; in descending order are as follows: Etienne, Lael, Aureliana, Zuriel, Bao, the twins Elijah and Eirian, Salathiel, Amadeus, Meira; that's me; Zebulon, Nathanael, Seosamh, Xoana, Matthias, Aimi and Khittania. You may also want to know that Etienne and Aimi share a father, just like Salathiel and Khittania do. The remaining eleven of us; not counting the twins of course; all have separate fathers. We live together in a realm that to anyone outside of it would resemble something of fantasy. My father and uncles; as we refer to our mother's other mates; have special abilities that have lingered from when they were angels and they can do things that seem a lot like magic. Because of this, our realm can change and do things that the human realm, Earth cannot. Unfortunately, my half-siblings and I are like our mother, we do not have any of these special abilities. Although, our mother does have a wish stone that allows her to create technology from her Earth realm, since my father and uncles cannot.

 

Enough of the back story, I have a secret that I have to tell someone and since you can't share it with anyone, I'm going to tell you. I have been having realistic dreams every night for the past month. Each night, my dreams pick up from where it left off the night before and I have two distinct dreams each night. Sure, they're just dreams you say, but that's how my mother first met my father and uncles; they reached out to her in her dreams and brought her here. Well I'm not going anywhere in my dreams, I'm staying in this realm, but I'm not alone in my dreams either. Each of my two dreams has another person in it and each one is a man I am romantically attracted to in my dreams. I guess that means I have two dream lovers, if I dare be bold enough to call them lovers. I haven't had sex with either of them; to which I'm grateful because I am certain I am damning my soul each time I long to return to them. But I have kissed them and been quite intimate with them.

 

I looked around the room, carefully scanning to see if anyone had walked in while I had been writing. I sighed and looked back down at the last sentence I wrote in my journal. I am in love with Zuriel and Amadeus in my dreams; and I am most certainly damned for it. I closed the book and then stood up, stuffing it between the bottom of the mattress and the frame of my bed. I shook my head and walked out of the bedroom I shared with my five sisters. As we had gotten older we had decided we wanted to share rooms like a dorm. The guys had one building and we females had another. All of the adults as we call my mother, father and uncles, have their own little houses. Eventually I'm sure we'll all feel grown up enough to want our own places too, but for now it's kind of nice.

 

The garden area between our houses was bustling with bodies heading this way and that making plans for their day. I had pretended to sleep in late so I could write in my journal before facing the world. I sulked my way into the kitchen, watching the path in front of me and ignoring everyone around me. A hand touched me softly on the shoulder. "Hey Meira, are you alright?" I turned and smiled softly into my mother's lovely face. She too had stopped aging when she arrived in our realm and her face was that of a woman in her early thirties. "Yeah mom, I'm fine." She wrinkled her brows and laced her arm through mine. "Are you on your way to eat?" I nodded. "Yup, have you eaten yet?" She shook her head and smiled motioning for us to continue towards the kitchen. "I was talking with your dad about you earlier. Have you been journaling?" I glanced around quickly, checking to see if anyone had heard her. "Yes." She nodded, lowering her voice. "Has it been helping? Sarandiel said you seemed pretty emotional." I shrugged. "I just started this morning, but I'll let you know how it goes." She nodded and opened the dining room door that attached to the kitchen. 

 

Several others were still lounging around the room that now resembled a typical high school cafeteria from what I'd seen in movies. My mom smiled, slipping her arm from mine and motioning for me to go on ahead. I cast my eyes around the room, quickly scanning over the objects of my obsession to where Aimi waved at me from a corner table. "Meira! Come sit with me!" I nodded, trying not to notice if anyone else looked up when she called my name. "Sure Aimi let me get some food first." I made my way into the kitchen, grateful it was empty. I let out a deep sigh and went about pouring myself a bowl of cereal. "That was a pretty big sigh." A soft, familiar voice spoke as he entered the kitchen door. 

 

I looked down at my bowl and then up at Zuriel as he rounded the island to where I stood. "Just trying to decide what cereal to eat." I lied and he smiled, wrinkling his brows a little as he thought about what I said. "You know it's a magic kitchen." He laughed wiggling his fingers at me. "If you didn't like your choices, you could decide to eat something that wasn't already here." I nodded, feeling suddenly foolish for my choice in lies. Zuriel was the fourth born and five months older than me. While it wasn't actually that much time, it was the equivalent of about five years. I picked up my bowl and started to walk away when he called softly to me again. "You've been acting kind of strange lately, is everything alright?" 

 

I stopped walking and looked down at my cereal. How could I tell him that I had been dreaming about him every night for a month? That I didn't want to be awake because it reminded me that I could never be his. I turned and looked into his stunning green eyes, trying not to remember how they had stared into mine with such love and affection just under an hour earlier. I didn't want to lie to him either. "It will be." He wrinkled his brows, looking down at his empty bowl and then back up into my eyes. I could tell there was something he wanted to say, but wasn't. "Is there anything I can do?" I let out a soft laugh and then covered my mouth with the back of my hand, clearing my throat at his injured expression. "No Zuriel, but thanks for the offer." 

 

I started to turn again and he set the bowl down with a loud clink as the glass hit the marble counter. "Why is that funny?" His tone was harsher than I was used to and I turned towards him. I knew that I couldn't share my secret with him, I couldn't allow myself to entertain these fantasies and I surely couldn't have him suddenly concerned about me. I squared my shoulders and looked into his eyes as coolly as I could muster. "When have you older kids ever bothered yourselves with us younger ones? Besides when we were little, I mean really little. Seriously Zuriel, don't you have some grown up activities to do?" I laughed again, brushing him off and turned quickly, leaving the room before he could call my bluff. My heart felt like it was shattering into tiny pieces and I quickly stalked across the room to where Aimi sat.

 

Zuriel burst through the swing door and caught my arm before I could sit down and my bowl of cereal went flying with the force of his grab. I whirled around to stare at him, preparing to growl, but the look on his face shut me up. "That's a load of crap and you know it." His voice was low, but I felt the rage beneath his seemingly calm exterior. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my mom stand up and several others, including Amadeus straighten up. I had to really drive my point home to him and I looked down at Aimi. "Aimi, when was the last time Zuriel offered to do anything with you? Or seemed concerned about your existence for that matter?" Aimi shrugged, reluctant to get in the middle. "I don't know it's been awhile I guess." I raised my eyebrows and looked up at Zuriel, shooting daggers at him. "No it's not a load of crap. But since you're suddenly interested, why don't you get me another bowl of cereal and then clean up the mess you made when you tried to jerk my arm out of its socket." He frowned down at his vice grip on my arm and quickly released me, stuttering as he backed away. "Yeah, ok."

 

As soon as he walked back into the kitchen I sat down and fisted my hands in my hair, trying to control the tears that threatened me. Aimi placed her hand on my shoulder, for being almost as much my junior as Zuriel was my senior, we had become pretty close. "What was that about?" I shrugged and shook my head, looking up into her concerned green eyes. "How should I know? I guess he suddenly decided he had to be my favorite brother." I tried not to notice the way he stiffened at my words as he approached with a new bowl of cereal. "I'm sorry I didn't realize I've been such a jerk all this time." He held out the bowl and I took it, letting my hand brush his, even though I probably shouldn't have. His head snapped up and his eyes met mine. "You haven't been a jerk Zuriel, you just haven't been concerned." He straddled the bench next to me, sitting down and looking into my eyes. "Maybe that should change." He looked across the table as Aimi. "I'm sorry, I really am." Aimi lowered her head, reluctant to upset him further. "Yeah sure, it's cool."

 

Bao and our mom had already started to clean up the mess I'd made and Zuriel quickly stood up. "I've got it, thank you." He took the mop from mom and she shot him a scolding look that I pretended not to see as I looked down at my fresh bowl of cereal. I had lost all desire to eat it, but I managed to choke a bite down anyway. Most of the others were finding excuses to leave and Aimi stood up, looking down at me apologetically. "I'm going to head down to the pool; some of the others are going. You should meet up with us when you're done eating." I shrugged. "I don't know, maybe I'll head up in awhile." She nodded and quickly escaped the dining room before anyone else exploded. Amadeus and Zebulon sat down at the table on either side of me and I clamped my eyes shut. Couldn't karma throw anyone else at me? Zebulon laughed and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "I thought I was your favorite brother?" I shook my head and couldn't help but smile at his light hearted nature. I wrapped my arm around his neck and rubbed my knuckles over his scalp roughly. "How could anyone not love a knucklehead like you?" He groaned and Amadeus laughed. 

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I released Zebulon and turned to look at Amadeus, trying not to look at him with an expression that matched the butterflies in my stomach. "Can I help you?" I raised an eyebrow, trying to hide the smile that wanted to dance its way across my face "Don't get all hostile with me. I didn't do anything to you." He smiled and I blushed, overwhelmed by his close proximity. He touched my elbow and I looked up at him nervously through my lashes. Could he tell how he affected me? "Is your arm ok?" I looked down at my forgotten injured arm and then back up at Amadeus, seeing the expression on Zuriel's face from behind him. "Yeah, it's fine. He didn't grab me that hard, he just pissed me off." Zuriel caught my glance and quickly looked away, finishing mopping up the last of my spilt cereal. 

 

The dining room door flew open with a bang and I turned to see my uncle Mendrion standing in the doorway glaring at his son. "Zuriel, can I have a word with you?" Zuriel nodded, setting the mop down. "Yeah dad." I don't know what came over me but I jumped up and crossed the room to my uncle. "It wasn't a big deal, it was just a misunderstanding." I looked down at my feet and then up into my uncle's angry eyes that reminded me so much of his son's. "It was my fault really. I snapped at him and then stormed off." Mendrion looked down at me and smiled before frowning at his son as he stepped beside me. "That doesn't give him an excuse to grab you like he did." I nodded and placed my hand on Zuriel's elbow, trying to prove my point that I wasn't still mad at him. "He wasn't trying to hurt me, it's just that I was moving away from him at the same time he caught my arm." 

 

My uncle sighed and Zuriel looked down at my hand on his arm curiously. "Zuriel, I think you need to make this up to her." Zuriel nodded and looked into my eyes. "I want to." I cringed inwardly; my desire to keep him out of trouble threw him right back into my path. I faked what I hoped looked like a genuine smile. "Well I was planning to go hang out at the pool with Aimi, if you really want to make it up to us you could come hang out with us youngsters." Zebulon piped up from behind me. "Amadeus and I are going to be there." I cringed when I groaned out loud. My uncle raised an eyebrow and I grinned sheepishly. "Now there will be no peace at the pool." My uncle laughed. "Zebulon takes after his dad." I smiled up at Zuriel. "I'm sure Zuriel takes after his dad too." Mendrion smiled and looked at his son raising his eyebrows curiously. Zuriel shook his head and he cleared his throat. "Excuse me." He quietly walked past me and I couldn't help but enjoy his rear view as he exited the dining room. I blushed and Mendrion shot me a knowing glance. "Try not to be too hard on him." I nodded. "I won't." My uncle nodded and I tossed a glance over my shoulder at Zebulon and Amadeus. "See you guys at the pool." Amadeus shot me his award winning smile and I quickly escaped before I sighed dreamily in his presence.