JM BENAVIDEZ

I made it to my room without running into anyone else and quickly ducked into the closet. I needed to come up with a swimsuit. I usually didn't get in the pool in just a suit; I always wore shorts and a tank top over an old one piece. But today was different, today I had their attention and I really wanted them to notice me. I held my hands over the drawer my swimsuit should be in and imagined an olive green halter style bikini that tied at the hips. I opened the drawer and smiled down at the suit, it was very convenient to have drawers that filled with whatever you wanted. I slipped the suit on, pulled on my short denim shorts and white baggy tank top with low cut sides. I stepped into black flip flops and tucked my short brown hair back behind my ears. I frowned and flipped my hair to the right side in a side part and tucked the left side behind my ear. It gave me a softer, more feminine look; I was always running around like a tom-boy and today I wanted them to see that I could be more. I sighed and made my way down to the pool area.

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I was a little surprised to find all sixteen of my siblings scattered between the pool, hot tub and the waterslides. Aimi, Khittania and Xoana were huddled on the stairs of the pool and waived as I walked up. I waved back and headed over to a chair to strip down into my suit. I turned my back to the pool as I stepped out of my shoes and shorts. I took a deep breath and pulled my tank top up over my head, dropping it onto the chair. Zebulon and the youngest of the boys, Matthias splashed water at me and I stuck my tongue out at them as they missed me. "Nice try twerps!" They stuck their tongues back out at me and I rolled my eyes as I walked past them toward the deep end of the pool. There was no way I was going to inch my way into the pool like the younger girls. I looked up at the high dive and smiled, unlike my mom, heights had never frightened me. 

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I practically skipped up the stairs towards the high dive and ran smack into Amadeus. I lost my balance and started to fall backwards as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tight against his bare chest. My heart raced as I recovered from both the fear of nearly falling down a flight of stairs and being pressed up against one of the objects of my desire. His eyes searched mine frantically. "Are you alright?" I shook my head, still too startled to speak. I felt his hand caress my bare back gently and I looked up into his eyes, wondering if my mind had imagined his caress. "Why is today different?" I mumbled before I realized I had said it. His face was so close to mine, I couldn't help but recall how his lips had felt in my dreams and my lashes fluttered softly. "Is it?" He whispered lowering his face the smallest bit and my eyes flew open. He swallowed hard and took a step backwards, steadying me with both of his hands before letting me go. 

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Amadeus looked down as if noticing my outfit for the first time and then he smiled. "I guess I could ask you the same thing." I tucked my hair behind my left ear again and he nodded, turning his back towards me and continuing up the stairs to the top of the high dive. I placed my hands on the rock walls on either side of the spiraling staircase, steadying my jittery nerves as I followed him up the stairs. I paused at the top of the stairs, watching him as he walked out to the end of the diving board. He was beautiful; of all of the guys, I think he was probably the most solid. Amadeus was like his father, in that he had a very lean, muscular model physique. He was golden, from his short blonde hair to his naturally tan toes. He tossed me a mischievous smile over his shoulder and then jumped. He had brown eyes, dimples, a perfect white smile and strong features; what wasn't to swoon over? But Amadeus knew he was gorgeous and it was the one thing about him that turned me off the most.

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I was the plain Jane of my sisters. I have short straight brown hair, brown eyes and pudgy lips. I am shorter than the others too, even the younger ones. I was probably the last person in this realm that either Amadeus or Zuriel should ever want to date. I shook my head sadly and stepped onto the edge of the large platform that lead out to the diving board. "Are you actually going to jump or just stare at it?" I turned and Zuriel smirked at me. "I guess I deserved that for freaking out on you." He stepped onto the platform next to me, challenging me with his stormy green eyes. "You deserve a lot more than a little jibe." He stepped even closer to me and I instinctively placed my hand on his chest, stopping him. I stared at my hand, instantly panicking that I had done it. Zuriel laughed softly as he studied my face. "If I didn't know better, I'd say I made you nervous." I took a step closer to him so that our bodies practically touched and I smirked up at him. "I wasn't the one who ran off earlier. I'd say it was you who was nervous." 

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His dark hair curled over his forehead and I wanted to knot my fingers in it as I had so many times in my dreams. His eyes followed mine up to his hair and then he smiled. "What secrets we keep, such an odd pair wouldn't you say?" I took several steps backwards, turning towards the diving board. "I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about." I walked out on the end of the board and he chuckled. "You keep saying that, but your eyes say something else entirely." I looked down into the pool where Amadeus stood with his hands on his hips watching me. I smiled and jumped off the end, diving into the water below. As I plunged deep into the water I let my mind let go of all of the stress I was carrying. There was no way either of my half-brothers knew what I had been dreaming about and as long as no one knew, I could let my mind run rampant as often as I wanted. 

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As I continued to swim underwater towards the shallow end of the pool I heard Zuriel enter the water behind me. He was taller, stronger and better built than I was and I knew it was only a short time until he had caught up to me. I blew out a small puff of bubbles and turned my head to see him swim up beside me. I pushed off the bottom, emerging through the water's surface at the same time he did. I ran my hands back over my head, pulling my hair from my face and frowned as Zuriel shook his head like a wet dog, splattering me with droplets. "Classy." I groaned and he grinned at me. "I had to make sure you were cool enough." I rolled my eyes, snorting softly. "Ah, but we can't all be as cool as you Zuriel." Amadeus chuckled as he approached us. "Some of us can be cooler." He winked at me playfully and I shook my head. "You boys enjoy your pissing contest. I'm going to go see what the female population is up to." 

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Amadeus stepped in front of me, blocking my path and looking down at me, all traces of joking aside. "I'm sorry, don't let me run you off, I was just teasing." I shook my head looking up at him. "I'm sorry too, but I'm not the right person for this crowd." Zuriel touched my elbow gently, afraid to offend me again. "How so?" I snorted, turning to face him. "Sweet blind man, look at the two of you and then at me. We are as different as night and day." He frowned. "That's the second time today you have tried to distance yourself from me. What have I done to upset you so much?" I shook my head, feeling broken for hurting him again. I took another step closer to him, this time letting my heart take the lead as I placed my hand over his heart. "You haven't done anything to me Zuriel, no one has. I'm just broken alright, no one can fix me but me and right now I just don't feel like trying to fake it." He looked down at my hand and then up into my eyes and I saw a glimmer of the man from my dreams. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm sorry." I turned and faced Amadeus. "I'm sorry to you too." I placed my hand on his shoulder, smiling softly as I walked past him.

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I knew they were both watching me as I got out of the pool and headed straight for my clothes. I grabbed my shorts and shirt, slipping on my shoes and making a beeline for my room before tears over ran me. I had been dreaming about them for a month, why all of the sudden have they started paying attention to me? Wet splashing footsteps ran up behind me as I made it to the edge of the pool grounds. "Meira wait!" I slowed my pace slightly but didn't stop until I was out of the line of sight of the pool. The footsteps got louder and I could feel them vibrate the concrete path beneath my feet. "Hey, wait up." I sighed and turned to face Zuriel. "What?" He shrugged. "Maybe you don't have to fake it, maybe you just need someone to talk to." 

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My shoulders sagged, he was part of the problem; how could I make him the solution? I looked up into his hopeful eyes and I just didn't want to push him away again. I really wanted to spend time with him, I wanted to get past this awkwardness I felt around him, but I wasn't sure I could trust myself not to throw myself at him either. "I can't promise to be the best of company, but if you really want to force the issue I'll indulge you. We just have to get away from here before another person asks if I'm alright and I explode." The corner of his mouth turned up in what I could only see as a triumphant smile. "Why don't we ask my dad if he'll create a jungle lagoon for us and we can go hang out there?" I nodded. "Sure, I can make us a picnic lunch while you ask him." He patted my tricep. "That would be great. I'll meet you in the kitchen." 

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I wrinkled my brows as he trotted off to find his dad. How had I gotten myself into this? I shook my head and headed into the kitchen. I went about making us sandwiches and packing other snack foods for our excursion. I had it all sitting on the counter and was searching for something to carry it all in when he arrived. "Wow, this looks great! You thought of everything." I grinned sheepishly. "Swimming always makes me hungry, so I figured it probably did you too." He smiled. "That's what I've always liked about you; you're never bashful." I shrugged trying to play it off. "Why should I be?" He shrugged. "I don't know you see it in movies all the time. Girls get all weird around guys, but you never do." He raised an eyebrow. "Until today, you've been off today." I shrugged. "Must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed I guess." He laughed. "If I did that, I'd be eating a face full of wall." I giggled, picturing him smacking into a wall as he tried to get out of bed. 

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Zuriel held out a backpack. "I thought we could put the food in here. I got towels too." I nodded. "Now it's you who has thought of everything." He shrugged and we loaded up the bag with food. He slipped it onto his back and motioned towards the back exit of the kitchen. "My dad said to head out this way and we couldn't miss it." I giggled again as we headed out the door. "What did he say when you asked him to create it?" Zuriel smiled."He asked if there was anything else and then told me to have fun. It was kind of weird actually." I shook my head. "I'm really sorry about earlier." He looked down at me, his smile fading slightly. "I probably made a bigger deal out of it than I should have." My eyes met his and my heart ached with how badly I missed him. I wanted to reach out and take his hand in mine like I had so many times over the past month, I wanted to lean against his shoulder or wrap my arm around his waist as he draped his across my shoulder. I looked down at the ground, sighing softly at my own foolishness. "Whatever it is, you'll get through it. I'll help you." I nodded and we made our way to the edge of the lush jungle.