JM BENAVIDEZ

As we came up to the tree line there was a small break with a fallen log blocking the path. It wasn't a problem for Zuriel to climb over it, but as I mentioned before I'm vertically challenged. I grimaced at the log and Zuriel smiled back at me, extending his hand over the top of the log. "Here, I'll help you over." I pretended not to be giddy about the thought of holding his hand and smiled at him. "No short jokes alright." He shook his head, extending his hand further. "I wouldn't dream of it." I took a deep breath and placed my hand in his. His fingers wrapped protectively around my hand and I looked down at it a second longer than I should have. I looked up and caught him watching me intently and I quickly shuffled over the log. Zuriel made sure I was steady on my feet before releasing his firm grip on my hand. I smiled, trying not to show my disappointment at our separation. 

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As we continued to walk further into the jungle Zuriel cast a sideways glance at me. "So are you going to tell me what has you so upset these days?" I wondered how much truth I could get away with. "Do you ever feel like it was cruel for the Creator to put us here? I mean with no one else here but our family?" He wrinkled his brows, looking down at the ground as he considered my question. "I guess I never really thought of it as cruel, but it does feel small sometimes. Why?" I shook my head, surprised by what I was about to admit out loud. "I guess I'm just jealous that I can't have the same life our parents have had. You know, being able to interact with other people. Make lasting relationships." 

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He stopped walking and turned towards me. "You can make lasting relationships with us." I frowned. "Not the kind I'd like to." I saw a flicker of something cross his face and he looked down into my eyes. "What do you mean?" I shrugged, lowering my voice as it cracked with the emotions I felt. "Don't you ever get lonely Zuriel? Don't you wish there was someone out there just for you? Someone who would love you the way our parents love each other?" Zuriel sighed and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist, pretending for just a moment that he wasn't my half-brother but the man who loved me in my dreams. 

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I felt his arms loosen and I clamped my eyes shut, refusing to let the moment slip away so quickly and a traitorous tear slipped down my cheek. He tilted my chin up, looking down into my face. I slowly opened my eyes and he caught the tear as it reached my chin. "Don't cry Meira, you aren't alone." I shook my head. "It isn't the same." His eyes met mine and for just a second, I saw the man in him I loved. "Isn't it?" He brought his lips down to mine, kissing me sweetly. I didn't care if I was going to hell, or damning my soul for all eternity I needed to feel real, even if it was only for this one stolen moment. I slipped my hands around his neck, drawing him in and returning his kiss.

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As I slowly emerged from my alternate reality and realized the implications of what had just happened, I broke our kiss, dropping my hands as he released me. I took a step back, biting my bottom lip nervously and looking up into his eyes. "So uh, that just happened." He nodded, his expression reflecting his guilt and confusion much as I'm sure mine did. "Yeah, it did." I smiled weakly and started to continue walking. He quickly fell instep beside me and we walked in silence for what felt like a painfully long time. Finally the trees opened up to a lagoon and we stepped out into the clearing. Zuriel slid the backpack from his shoulders, setting it on the ground and then turning to face me. "We have to talk about this." I shrugged. "Ok, so talk." He frowned. "What are you thinking? I can't stop replaying that stolen moment in my head and every time I do I feel happier than I've ever felt but yet at the same time I feel like you hate me for it." I shook my head. "I could never hate you Zuriel. Not ever." 

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He stepped closer to me and I inhaled sharply. He shook his head. "What can I do? Tell me." I stepped closer, placing my fingers over his lips, silencing him. "Stop talking." His shoulders slumped and he looked down at me with deeply troubled eyes. "You came here because you wanted to know what's bothering me right?" He nodded and I sighed. "I had no intention of telling you what was bothering me, but I just couldn't bring myself to send you away." I let my fingers fall from his lips and he looked down at me curiously. "Had? As in past tense?" I nodded. "Have a seat Zuriel." He opened up the backpack, pulling a towel from the bottom and laying it across the sand for us to sit on and then sat down on one side of it. I hesitated a moment and then sat down close beside him. He slid his hand towards mine, wrapping the tips of his fingers over mine and I frowned. He slid his hand away and I placed my hand over his. 

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"I have dreamt of you every night for the past month." His eyes met mine and he smiled. "That's why you responded the way you did when I kissed you." I nodded and his smile grew bigger. "And I have dreamt of you." My shoulders sagged and I looked up into his dancing eyes. "Have you really?" He nodded solemnly. "Why would I lie?" I frowned, remembering the other dream I had been having every night. "What is it?" I shook my head. "I have had two dreams every night." His eyes met mine, understanding what I hadn't yet said. "Is the other dream like the one you have with me?" I nodded. "It is." He nodded. "I see." 

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His eyes met mine again. "Who?" I wrinkled my brows. "Are you sure you want to know?" He nodded. "I am." I took a deep breath, preparing to bear the entirety of my soul's damnation. "Amadeus." Zuriel raised his eyebrows. "Have you told him?" I shook my head emphatically. "Are you kidding? I'm going to hell for even thinking it, much less talking about it and I certainly shouldn't have acted on it." Zuriel chuckled. "I guess it's a good thing we won't age and Dardariel can heal us from all injuries then." I shook my head. "I'm serious." He nodded. "I know. So am I." I groaned loudly and buried my face in my hands. Zuriel wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him. "First of all, we are in this together so I'm hoping that makes you feel a little better." I frowned and looked up into his gorgeous green eyes. "When you look at me like that it kind of does." He smiled. "But more importantly, how do you think we have been able to have these dreams? I mean, I'm pretty sure we have been having the same dream at the same time. That can't be a coincidence." I shook my head. "What are you getting at?" He smiled. "Someone had to cause these dreams. Who do we know that has that ability?" I shrugged. "Azrael used to be able to but I don't think he can anymore." Zuriel nodded. "You're right, he can't. But the Creator can." 

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I sat up, staring at him in amazement. Had the Creator caused our dreams? If he had, then he would have to approve of the relationship. How could that be possible? I racked my brain, but no other explanation made sense; no one else had access to our realm and no one in it had that ability. "Does that mean Amadeus has probably been having the same dreams too?" My brain hurt and Zuriel nodded. "I wouldn't be surprised if he had." I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "Why me? And why the two of you? What is this some sick joke to see if I'll crack?" Zuriel pulled my hands from my face. "What is that supposed to mean?" I laughed. "I meant what I said in the pool. We are night and day." He shook his head. "How so?" I touched his cheek affectionately. "You are beautiful and I'm, well... plain." Zuriel laughed. "Meira, you are far from plain. You are quite breathtaking." I snorted. "Yeah sure." He tilted my chin up so that I was looking into his eyes. "Tell me something. If you think I'm so perfect, do you think I have good taste and judgment?" I nodded. "Yes." He smiled and leaned forward kissing me again. He pulled back, looking into my eyes. "Right now, I'm awake and fully in control of myself. And you know what Meira? I still choose you. So what does that say about you?" I smiled, intoxicated by his undivided attention. "That I am really good at mind control?" 

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He laughed and released my chin. "Are you now? So make me do something else." I smiled and lowered my gaze. I licked my lips suggestively and then looked up at him with my lashes, hoping to lure him in for another kiss. He chuckled and lunged at me, knocking me over and tucking me beneath him in the same motion as he pressed his lips against mine. I giggled as he pulled back and I looked up into his eyes. "That wasn't what I had been trying to make you do." He smiled. "I know I improvised." I sighed, placing my hand on his bare chest and looking up into his eyes. "I've really missed you, but we can't keep doing this." He leaned forward, brushing his cheek against mine. "If you insist, but let's have today. Just this one day full of stolen moments to get us through." I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "I don't think I could survive if I gave you a whole day Zuriel. My heart would shrivel and die the moment I had to leave your side, knowing I could only love you in my dreams." He leaned back, looking down into my eyes. "Then give me this afternoon, just a few hours. Could your heart survive that? I only want to ease the burden we've been carrying so maybe I can see you smile again while I'm awake. I miss your smile." 

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I sighed, closing my eyes and laying my head back against the sand. Every inch of my body; including my heart; wanted to say yes, but I knew that if I gave in to a few hours today I would want to do the same tomorrow and the next day. What about Amadeus? Was I being fair to him if he had been having the same dreams? Zuriel sat up, pulling me into a sitting position beside him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you. If you don't feel comfortable, we don't have to do anything. If you want I can even take you back." I shook my head. "I want to tell you yes, but I want to do this right. I don't want to have to hide how I feel about you, I don't want to lie or sneak around. But also, I want to be fair and if Amadeus is having the same dreams I'm having, then this is very unfair to him." 

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Zuriel wrinkled his brows. "So that is your decision then; all or none? Not one or the other?" I nodded. "I think it has to be. Could you imagine how things would be if our mom had done it that way?" He smirked. "Either it would be a lot quieter or we'd all look the same and you and I would never dream of having this conversation." I giggled at his choice of words. "Dream." He smiled. "So, shall we eat or swim first then?" I nodded towards the lagoon. "I'd prefer not to get a cramp." Zuriel stood up and helped me to my feet. "I'll race you in." I shook my head. "You'd win. I have freakishly short legs remember?" He snorted. "You have cute legs, stop being so hard on yourself." I smirked. "Says the hot guy with long legs." He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me close to him. "You think I'm hot huh?" I grinned. "I don't think there's a girl our age who doesn't think you're hot." He narrowed his eyes at me. "So all of the sudden I'm your age huh? I thought I was a grownup and you were still a kid." 

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I cringed. "I was just trying to put some distance between us so I'd stop trying to throw myself at you." He looked down at me with an expression I'd never seen him make before. "You wanted to throw yourself at me?" He shifted his hips and I felt his desire for me, hard against my upper thigh. "Oh!" I gasped and he smiled. "You make quite an impression on me as well Meira." I shifted backwards uncomfortably. "I think that's a little too much honesty for one day, thank you." He nodded and released me, splashing out into the lagoon and diving into the water.