JM BENAVIDEZ

As I walked into the bathroom, closing the doors on both sides, I noticed the speakers in the walls for the first time. I pressed the play button and instrumental music with soft ocean sounds filled the room. I lit the candles around the room and turned off the lights as I turned on the shower. I pulled two large fluffy towels from the shelf and hung them on the hook outside the shower door. I stripped out of my clothes and put them into the hamper before stepping into the shower. I let the hot water scald my skin as I pressed my face against the cool shower tiles. What the hell was I doing? I knew how I felt about both of them, but to put that into practice? How did I act on those feelings with just one of them? But to do it with two of them? My body told my mind to shut up and I went about washing my body and hair. 

When I felt clean of both body and mind I stepped out of the shower, wrapping my hair up in a towel before wrapping the other around my body. I stepped over to the double sinks smiling at the two new toothbrushes sitting in the cup next to mine. I brushed my teeth, foolishly touching their tooth brushes affectionately as I put mine back in the cup. I extinguished the candles and made my way back out into the bedroom. I looked around the room, empty of anyone but me for probably the last time. I walked into the closet, closing the door behind me. This was my new safe zone; the only place in the whole house that was exclusively mine. I opened the dresser drawer pulling out the stones and the leather for the jewelry I was going to make for them. 

I closed the drawer again wishing for a pair of scissors before opening it again. I pulled out the scissors and set them on the top of the dresser. I measured out what I thought would be a good length for Lael's bracelet and then cut the leather. I laced it through the stone and tied two slip knots on either side of the stone so that it was fully adjustable. I repeated the process on a larger scale for Zuriel's necklace, trying to envision him wearing it. It would probably have to be more like a choker so the stone didn't kill him if he did anything physical. I groaned, sliding down to the floor. Anything physical like making love to me.

There was a soft knock on the bedroom door. "Dinner is ready. Take your time." Lael called through the door and I bent forward placing my head between my towel covered knees. "Alright." I answered back in a muffled voice. I shook my head and stood back up on my feet. I pushed the unused leather and scissors off to the side of the dresser with the rest of the stones I'd collected and then looked down at my finished products. They really did look nice. I placed my hand over the dresser drawer imagining two small boxes, one with a green bow and the other with a blue one. I opened the drawer and pulled out the boxes. I put Lael's bracelet into the box with the green bow and Zuriel's necklace into the box with the blue bow.

I looked down at my emerald green towel. What the hell was I going to wear to dinner? I was really at the point where all I wanted to do was kick back and relax the rest of the day and I had been known to show up to dinner in my pajamas on rare occasions. But at the same time, I didn't want them to think that all I wanted to do was get them into my bed. I decided to wear a long aqua-green cotton sundress instead. It was just a little fancier than a nightgown but just as comfortable at one. I put on black panties and a matching black bra before pulling the dress over my head. I shook out my damp hair and tossed my towels into the hamper. I picked up the two small boxes and opened the closet door. I crossed the room and set the boxes on the empty dresser underneath the mirror. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. "It's just dinner." I reminded myself before walking over to the bedroom door.

Something wonderful hit my nostrils as I opened the door all of the way and stepped out into the living room. The guys had set up dinner at the kitchen counter with the stools and I smiled at how cramped it looked. I would have to remind myself to ask my dad to make it a little roomier tomorrow. Lael smiled from the kitchen side of the counter. "You look nice. I hope you're hungry." Zuriel turned towards me and I smiled at them both, realizing they had changed into more casual attire also. "I am. It smells wonderful." Zuriel was wearing a white athletic shirt and black sweatpants. He wasn't barefoot, but he was shuffling around in clean white socks. He pulled the center stool out for me. "Come have a seat beautiful." I sat down, smiling at him as he slid in between me and the wall. Lael was also sporting black sweatpants, but he wore a hunter green v-neck shirt. I smiled down at his bare feet as he walked around the counter with a pan of chicken breasts. 

He placed a breast on each of our plates and Zuriel put rice on our plates. Lael brought the pan back into the kitchen as Zuriel added steamed vegetables to our plates. Lael brought back a pan of hollandaise sauce, handing me the ladle. "I've got the pan, serve yourself." I poured sauce over my plate then motioned to Zuriel. "Lift your plate and say when." Zuriel held up his plate, motioning when he'd had enough. "Thank you." I reached for Lael's plate and he smiled down at me. "I've got it thank you." I handed him the ladle and he brushed his hand against mine as he took it from me. He poured sauce on his plate and then set the pan back on the stove before sitting down next to me. I sighed after taking a large whiff of the food. "I didn't realize how hungry I was." Lael nodded. "Well we had a later breakfast and then skipped lunch completely so you should be." I placed a hand on each of their backs, looking back and forth between them. "Thank you both so much for this. Not just for the food, but for being here and for being so great about it." They both nodded and we dove into our plates with much relish. 

As we finished eating, Zuriel stood from the table, taking our plates into the kitchen. I watched him curiously as he began to wash them. Lael smiled, bumping my elbow. "He's pretty handy in the kitchen isn't he?" Zuriel looked over his shoulder at us. "So are you. I didn't cook us dinner." I leaned my head on Lael's shoulder. "You guys shouldn't spoil me so much, I could get used to this." Zuriel smiled. "I'm only doing it so I can bathe in your bathroom." I laughed. "The shower is nice too. It has three heads, so if you stand directly in the center it's like a water tube." I stopped talking as I considered my apartment. Three shower heads, three stools at the table. I got up and walked into my bedroom. Lael and Zuriel following behind me. I put my hands on my hips. "Well shit. There are three dressers too." Lael nodded. "And three stools and a three person couch with two extra chairs." I looked over my shoulder at Zuriel. "He did that when he first created my house." Zuriel nodded, drying his hands off on the towel that he was holding. "Why does that bother you?" I shook my head. "It doesn't, it just means that my dad was always one step ahead and in ways I didn't think of." 

I walked through the bathroom looking down at the double sink. "But only two sinks." I tilted my head looking at the double hook next to the shower. "Two hooks." The guys followed me as I slowly opened the door into their bedroom. One large four poster bed, a small fireplace with a fur rug in front of it and dark mahogany walls. This room was obviously set for one, but it was intentionally made just as thoughtfully and plush as the other room as if my dad expected me to go back and forth between the two rooms. The bed was covered with a dark brown comforter and reminded me of Lael's room at the dorm. I wondered what Zuriel thought of that. "What are you thinking?" Lael asked quietly. I shook my head. "I'm just wondering what was going through his head when he created this. I asked for something masculine in neutral colors since you both were so different in your preferences and yet this is what he came up with." 

I turned towards Zuriel. "What are your thoughts about this room?" Zuriel smirked before tossing the towel over his shoulder and leaning against the door jamb. "It looks a lot like my room back at the dorm." I wrinkled my brows and Lael smiled. "You weren't expecting that were you?" I shook my head and forced myself to sit down on the edge of the bed as my knees threatened to buckle. Lael pulled the chair out from underneath the desk, turning it backwards and straddling it as he sat down in front of me. He crossed his arms casually over the back of the chair. "Did you know that before mom came here that everyone lived in a castle?" I nodded. "Yeah." Zuriel smiled from the doorway. "Many of the rooms in the castle looked like this. My dad's still does." I looked around the room thoughtfully. "That makes a lot more sense."  Lael reached out touching my knee. "You were going to give him the once over weren't you." I shrugged. "I was getting mixed messages, but I feel better about it now." 

I noticed a small television screen on the corner of the dresser facing the bed and I looked at it curiously. "How did that get there? Dad can't create technology." I stood up and walked around the room towards it as Lael sat up in his chair. "I don't think your dad did it." I turned on the monitor and was surprised to see that I was looking at the other bedroom. I looked at him curiously. "Then who did?" Lael's eyes met mine. "I think mom did." I rubbed my forehead replaying our conversation at the pool. Mom knew that I was nervous about it, but that I didn't want to leave anyone out either. She also knew the father's of these men that I had moved into my house; she knew them very well. I looked between both of them. "Have you seen this?" They both shook their heads and Lael's eyes met mine. "I have a pretty good idea what it is though." I motioned for them to come take a look and they both crossed the room, stepping behind me as they looked at the screen. Zuriel chuckled and I looked up at Lael. "Is this what you thought it was?" He nodded. "I have a pretty open relationship with my dad. Mom's not as innocent as you think she is." I laughed. "She has seventeen kids with fourteen men, of course she isn't." I squeezed past them and walked back out into the living room as the dark room overwhelmed me.

I sat down in the center of the couch, staring down at the vase of flowers Lael had brought me. I stood back up, picking up the vase and the box with Amadeus' vase and taking them into the kitchen. I filled Amadeus' vase with water and placed Lael's flowers into them as the guys came out from the bedroom. I smiled up at them and took the vase back to the coffee table, centering it. I placed my hands on my hips looking down at it and Lael placed his hand in the center of my back. "It looks nice." I shook my head smiling up at him. "Actually I think the vase takes away from the flowers natural beauty, but you were right. I was tempted to knock it off the table and now I'm not." He touched my cheek softly, looking down into my eyes. "We should talk about this." I shook my head, wrapping my hands around his waist. "I'm tired of talking. I'm tired of thinking and second guessing. I'm tired of being afraid and I think it's about time we started saying less." I pulled him down to me, kissing him with all of my heart.

 

~ The End ~

 

 

Thank you for reading my deleted story. I had thought to make it a stand alone book, but decided that maybe it pushed the bar too far for some. There were days when the awkwardness even made me uneasy. I hope that you liked it!