JM BENAVIDEZ

Sure enough I had dreamt about Amadeus next, but it was an awful dream. I woke up sobbing and quickly leapt out of bed. The sun was just peaking through the window and I nearly sprinted for the boys' room. I banged on the door frantically, tears still glistening on my cheeks. The youngest of my half brothers, Matthias opened the door squinting at me. "Where's the fire?" I shook my head. "Amadeus?" I managed to squeak and I heard a deep voice answer softly from the back of the room. "I'm here." I shoved my way past Matthias, barging into a room I had never been in, moving subconsciously towards the sound. 

My eyes adjusted to the dim light and I threw my arms around his waist hugging him tightly. He stood motionless for a moment, startled by my action and then wrapped his arms around my back, shushing me as I began to blubber. "You were going to die! I watched you fall." I jerked my head back looking up into his concerned face. "You aren't going cliff diving with these Neanderthals! Promise me you won't!" Someone in a bed next to us cleared their throat and Amadeus motioned for me to head outside. I sniffled, looking around for the first time. "Sorry." I whispered as we stepped outside and he closed the door behind us. 

"It was just a dream." I looked up at him curiously. "Did you have it too? Were you dreaming the same dream?" He wrinkled his brows, considering my question. "You know, now that you mention it I think I do remember dreaming about cliff diving." I nodded. "Something is happening to us. I've had two dreams tonight that I've shared with other people and the first dream prophesied that I would have the second dream with you." He looked down into my eyes. "I have had two dreams with you in it tonight." He carefully wiped the tears from my cheeks, marveling over the depths of my fear. "This really upset you." I nodded. "Please, promise you won't go." He laughed. "I have no intention of going." I sighed, feeling a tiny inkling of relief. "I wish I knew you would be safe today, I just feel like something else will happen." Amadeus tilted my chin up again and I felt suddenly giddy. "Would you feel better if I spent the day with you Meira? Then you wouldn't worry if I was safe, you'd know."

The door opened behind him and Zuriel stood in the doorway, grinning as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Well isn't this interesting?" I shook my head, stepping backwards, away from both of them. "I'm going to hell." I stalked off towards my room and both guys ran after me; Zuriel stepping in front of me and Amadeus clasping my hand gently. "If you go, then we all do." Amadeus said softly from behind me. I turned towards him. "And what have you done to merit such a punishment?" He smiled softly. "You think you were the only one who experienced your dreams?" I shrugged. "Maybe not, but it has affected my waking world as well." He nodded, brushing my cheek with the edge of his knuckle. "Mine as well." Zuriel sighed from behind me. "And mine." 

I shook my head. "So what do we do?" Amadeus dropped his hand. "We talk to our elders." Zuriel and I looked at Amadeus and Zuriel wrinkled his forehead. "Your dad is probably the only one up." Amadeus nodded. "Probably, let's go see what he can tell us." I grimaced. "Are we sure we should be talking to Aftiel?" Amadeus met my eyes and I tried not to see the insecurity in them. "He is the second eldest and one of the most studied of our elders, why shouldn't we speak with him?" I frowned, looking down at my feet and then back up into his eyes. "Because, if anyone were to dash out hopes it would be him; not to mention, he is your dad." 

Amadeus reached out, quickly fisting his hand in the hair at the base of my neck and pulling me to him, crushing my body against his as he unexpectedly kissed me breathless. As he released me just enough to back up and look into his eyes, but not escape his embrace, he smiled and my heart pounded ferociously. "He could also do the opposite and because he is my father, he will want me to be happy but within the letter of the law. He can also read our emotions and will probably know what's going on whether we tell him or not." Zuriel shifted from behind me and Amadeus released his hold on me. "I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable." His eyes met mine as he spoke and then over my head to Zuriel. I tucked my hair back behind my ear nervously and then looked over my shoulder at Zuriel; who shook his head softly. "I'm actually only uncomfortable by my own reaction to what I saw." I bit my bottom lip thoughtfully and Amadeus asked the question I was pondering. "And what reaction is that?" Zuriel cleared his throat. "Not something I'm willing to discuss until we speak to your dad." 

I'm not sure what came over me but I closed the distance between Zuriel and I and I looked up into his eyes. "I may not give you this chance again." He chuckled softly, brushing his thumb across my bottom lip. "I shall look forward to my dreams then." I shook my head and started to turn away from him when he snaked his hand around my waist, spinning me back towards him and kissing me passionately. It was every bit as spectacular as my dream and just as mind blowing as Amadeus' kiss had been. As he released me he looked down into my eyes, exhaling softly against my lips. "Watching the way you reacted to his kiss made me want you in ways I never thought possible. Ways I'm embarrassed to admit considering our close relation. When watching movies of monogamist pairs, I always felt that maybe that was the way relationships should be. I never got why our parents were satisfied with their lot in life. But for the first time I get it." The desire rolling off him, jolted through me like earthquakes, shaking me to the foundation of my being. Even in my dreams, I hadn't felt the need for him as I did in that moment. 

Amadeus cleared his throat behind me. "I may not have my father's gift, but I can tell exactly what is passing between you. Perhaps we should go talk to our elders before we do something without knowing exactly what we are getting into." Zuriel never took his eyes off me. "What does it do to you Amadeus?" I heard him sigh softly. "Probably the exact same thing it did to you. Now can we go?" Zuriel nodded and released me, smiling softly. "I only hope it affects you the same way, lovely one." My breath caught in my throat and he ducked his head as he stepped past me towards Amadeus. I knew they were both watching my back for some sort of a reaction other than the immense panic that was happening in my brain. My emotional desire for my half-brothers was now part of my waking world. Not to mention it had taken on physical traits and consequences as well. My body knew things that my mind hadn't caught on to yet. It wanted to belong to these two men and it didn't care what chaos it caused in its wake.

I took a deep breath and lowered my eyes, turning towards them slowly. "I am not immune to you, to either one of you." My voice was so soft and so shaky that I wasn't sure they had heard me until I looked up into their eyes and they nodded before turning and leading the way to Aftiel's house. I followed behind them at a painfully slow and lethargic pace, much like an inmate doomed to fulfill his death sentence. Only I wasn't about to die. In fact my indiscretions could even be forgiven as long as I gave them both up and forbid myself to desire them anymore. But therein was my death sentence, I didn't want to give them up. I wanted to give in.

Amadeus rapped softly on his father's door as I reached the bottom step behind him. "Come in, it's open." Called faintly from the other side. Amadeus opened the door and the three of us stepped in. Aftiel poked his head out from the back room, jerking slightly as he saw all three of us. "What a surprise! Come in, have a seat." Amadeus closed the door behind me and Zuriel and I walked around the couch, sitting as far from each other as possible. Aftiel looked from his son to me and then back as his son before looking at Zuriel. He shook his head and then turned back to Amadeus. "What's on your minds?" Amadeus walked around the couch and sat down next to me, a few cushions over. "Last night all three of us shared dreams with each other." Aftiel scratched the top of his head and then sat down in the chair beside my end of the couch. "Exactly the same dream?" Amadeus wrinkled his brows, trying to explain. "Parts of it we all shared and it was identical, then other parts just two of us shared. But it felt like we were really experiencing it." 

Aftiel nodded and turned towards me. "How did it make you feel? Was it a good dream or a bad dream?" I frowned. "That's not easy to answer. While in the dream I would have considered some parts good and other parts bad. But when I woke up, I felt like none of it should have been good." He pursed his lips, thinking about my response. "Ok, while dreaming, you said something bad happened. That you felt it was bad even in the dream. What happened?" I clamped my eyes shut, shaking my head. "Amadeus was dying." Aftiel's head jerked up and he looked at his son. "You were dying?" Zuriel looked across the room, concerned for the first time and Amadeus shrugged. "I was going to go cliff diving but I fell." Aftiel sat forward in his chair. "What happened?" Amadeus frowned. "I woke up before I hit a part of the cliff that jutted out." Aftiel turned back towards me. "Did you see him hit?" I shook my head. "No, I woke up panicking and I nearly broke into his room to make sure he was alright." 

Aftiel nodded. "Why would you consider something you thought was good in your dream, bad once you woke up?" All three of us looked down at our hands and Aftiel sat back in his chair. "I see it's time we had this conversation." All three of us looked at him, but Amadeus spoke first. "What conversation?" Aftiel smiled. "The one that every parent dreads; especially when their children have only been around a few years." Zuriel raised an eyebrow. "Um, I think I've already had this conversation with my dad when Nathanael was born." Aftiel chuckled. "That was a little more in depth than I was thinking, but do we need to have that conversation?" Zuriel paled and shook his head. "Nope, I'm good." 

I wrinkled my forehead. "Wait, why aren't you freaking out? You obviously understand what hasn't been said." Aftiel laughed. "Let me start by asking, why are you freaking out?" I threw my arms up into the air. "Because we share a parent!" Aftiel nodded. "Yes that's true, but it used to be quite common in early civilizations where there wasn't a large population of partners to choose from. It hasn't been discussed, but we all knew there was a high probability of at least one of you being interested in another." I scratched my head. "And the Creator is alright with this?" Aftiel chuckled again. "Who do you think gave you the dream to start with? None of us have that ability. Not to link three of you in one dream." I crossed my arms over my chest. "How do you know he's not just testing us?" Aftiel shook his head. "Mostly because it would be pointless; but also because of Abraham and his half-sister Sarah. They were chosen by the Creator and from their love sprung forth nations." Amadeus shook his head in disbelief. "Sarah was Abraham's half-sister?" Aftiel nodded. "Yes, she was." 

My arms seemed to uncross themselves as my mind wrapped around what Aftiel had said. Not only was a relationship going to be allowed and accepted; the Creator had probably orchestrated it! Aftiel looked at Zuriel and then at me. "You two should probably discuss this with your dad's before acting on your dreams." Amadeus looked up at his dad. "Mom is going to have a hard time with this." I nodded my agreement and Aftiel smiled. "Let me speak with Aeowynne, you two go find your dads." Amadeus' eyes met mine and I smiled, knowing he was recalling how he had kissed me; thinking it may be the only chance he got. Aftiel cleared his throat and I stood to my feet, trying to change my train of thought. "Thank you for clarifying things for us Aftiel." He nodded and stood to his feet, placing his hand on Amadeus' shoulder as he started to stand. "Stay behind a moment, I'd like to speak with you." Amadeus nodded as Zuriel and I left the house.

Zuriel shook his head, running his hand back through his hair. "What an odd morning." I bumped him softly with my shoulder and he smiled down at me. "I didn't say it was a bad one." I blushed as we approached Mendrion's door. "This one's mine." I nodded. "I'll see you later." He grinned. "I hope so." I tucked my hair behind my ear and hurried past him before I gave into the urge to throw myself into his arms again. I made it to the next building over; my dad's house. I knocked softly on the door and was surprised when he opened it almost immediately. He grinned at me and held out his arms for a hug, just like he always did. I wrapped my arms around my father, hugging him tightly. He would always be the first man to love me and all others would have to measure up to the standard he had set for me. He laughed heartily and smiled down at me. "Why hello! You're up early." I looked up into his eyes. "It's been an eventful night." He raised an eyebrow and stepped back, letting me through the door. "Come on it, tell me all about it." My dad closed his door and then wrapped his arm around my shoulder, steering me towards his couch and sitting down beside me. I leaned against his shoulder like I had so many times before and I wondered if it was going to be this easy for the guys. 
I thought I'd start by skipping the intro and jumping right into the question. "How would you feel if I was romantically interested in two of my half-brothers?" I looked up into his face and the smile he had been wearing shifted into a look of deep thought as he considered my question. I knew my dad well enough to know he always thought a question through before answering. I watched his face patiently and smiled nervously when he looked down at me. "Since you're asking me, I'm assuming there are a specific two you are interested in?" I nodded and he smiled softly. "Do you know how they feel about you?" I grimaced and looked up into his eyes. "We all shared a dream last night. Most of the time there was just me and one or the other of them." He wrinkled his brows. "You shared a dream? So you've talked about it with them since?" I nodded. "And we spoke with Aftiel, because we figured he was the only one up." My dad smiled. "So you know that there isn't anything wrong with liking them. You are just asking me about my personal opinion on this?" I nodded. "It's important to me." 

He chuckled and squeezed me tightly. "Of course I'm going to worry about you, I know guys. But I support you in whatever decision you make." He looked down into my eyes, a more serious expression crossing his face. "There are a few things we need to talk about though." I wrinkled my nose. "Like what?" He sighed. "Like the difference between flirting and having a romantic relationship and having a physical one." I scrunched my face as I looked up at him. "Do we really need to talk about this? Can't I just talk about this with mom?" He shook his head. "No, you need to understand this from a male perspective and from the Creator's point of view. But I won't go into specifics." I nodded. "Alright." 

Sarandiel shifted so that he was facing me and took my hands in his. "Look honey, guys are wired a little differently than girls. Where you are run more by your heart and emotions, sometimes we're run by only our bodies physical desires." I frowned, understanding how that could be possible. "I know you can be too, but I want you to promise me you will think any action through before you do something you can't take back. Being in a physical relationship with someone can be wonderful, but you shouldn't be in one unless you want to spend the rest of your life with that person." I nodded and he wrinkled his forehead. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have options and I don't want you to rush into anything. I was the same way with your mother. You deserve to be someone's conscious choice because they love you and want to spend forever proving it, not because hormones were high." He shook his head, sighed and then looked deep into my eyes. "Baby, sex is the easy part. Love is much harder." I nodded. "Is it hard for you to love mom?" He nodded. "It is, but only because I am not the only one who loves her. I don't have the luxury of spending every moment with her, expressing how she makes me feel and showering her with my devotion. That's what I want for you." 

I nodded. "Does it bother you that I like two guys instead of just one?" He shook his head. "Two is better than fourteen. So are you going to tell me who?" I shrugged. "Is there anyone you wouldn't pick for me?" My dad laughed. "There are a few that I think would be an awkward fit for you, but there isn't anyone I would be against; so spill." I wrinkled my face and looked up at him. "Zuriel and Amadeus." He nodded thoughtfully. "I can see that." I raised an eyebrow. "You can? I feel like it's a really awkward pairing." My dad smiled. "Why?" I sighed miserably. "Because they are so perfect and I'm so plain." My dad shook his head. "Wherever did you get the idea that you are plain? Have you seen yourself?" I nodded. "Every day." I wanted to crawl up into a ball. "I have brown hair, brown eyes, short legs and a stubby body." My dad shook his head. "You have beautiful eyes, pouty lips, a small feminine frame, a level head and a great personality. Those two are lucky to get you, not the other way around." I blushed at the fervor in my dad's voice and then threw my arms around him. "That's why I love you." He laughed and hugged me back. "I love you too sweetheart." 

I sighed. "So Aftiel says he's going to talk to Mom, but what about the others? If we've been having dreams, do you think they have been too?" He shrugged, wrinkling his forehead. "It's a possibility. Why don't you leave the worrying to us and I'll talk with the other parents." I nodded and we stood up. "So you are really ok with this?" He smiled. "As long as you are respectful, responsible and smart about it; then yes." I raised an eyebrow. "What?" He patted my shoulder. "Keep your displays of affection modest or private." I nodded emphatically. "Oh, of course!" 

My dad kissed me on the cheek. "Alright you, go get some real clothes on." I looked down at my nightgown and blushed violently. "Oh man." My dad laughed and I looked up at him. "I woke up from a bad dream, Amadeus was dying and I practically sprinted to make sure he was still alive." My dad nodded and smiled. "I'm sure he was glad to be alive when he saw you." I shook my head. "Yuck, don't talk like that." He crossed his arms over his chest and cast me a stern glance. "You want to be in a relationship with these guys and you don't want them to be happy to see you?" I wrinkled my face. "Of course I do, I just don't want to hear you talk about it." He laughed and opened the front door. "Alright, I'll try not to gross you out too bad." I hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I love you daddy." He grinned as I hopped down off his front step like I had been doing since I was able to walk on my own. "I love you too Meira."

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