JM BENAVIDEZ

I took a slow stroll through my living room, marveling at my new surroundings. I squatted behind the couch, folding my arms over the back as I recalled the events of the day; picturing Zuriel and Amadeus sitting there with me. I sighed and stood up, walking into my bedroom and stripping down into my underclothes as I went. I threw myself backwards onto the bed, once again recalling their faces and the way I felt around them. Life had thrown me one hell of a curve ball and all I wanted was more. I exhaled loudly, wondering how far and how fast this curve ball would take me. If things continued the way they had been going, in a few hours I would be lying in this bed between both of them, trying to behave and fall asleep. I clapped my palms against my face. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to be tangled between them in nothing but my skin. How did you go from not even thinking about someone romantically one day to craving them in every way the next?

I shook my head and climbed out of bed. I picked up my wet clothes and headed into the bathroom, tossing them into the magic hamper in the corner. I stripped out of my damp underclothes and threw them in as well. I turned on the shower and stepped in, letting the warm water rinse all of my anxiety down the drain. After I had washed up and felt a little calmer, I turned off the water and stepped out into the bathroom. I dried off and towel dried my hair. I opened the hamper and smiled down into the empty basket before tossing the towel into it. That was the beauty of our realm, laundry and dishes always cleaned themselves. I exited the bathroom and walked into the closet, where I knew my clothes had already reappeared. 

I wondered what I should wear to dance in. I was the no frills girl, I didn't wear skirts or makeup and yet, for them, that's the girl I wanted to be. I wanted to be everything they had ever dreamed of. I considered the ramifications of me trying to dance in a dress and decided it probably wasn’t a good idea. I decided on black form fitting, boot cut stretch jeans instead. They would show all of my curves; although I wasn’t necessarily proud of them, I felt the guys would appreciate them. But what did I want to wear with it? I decided I would go for something more feminine and flirty for the top. I imagined a sparkly, metallic silver, spaghetti strap tank top with a low scooping neckline and an even lower scooping back that almost seemed backless. The top would catch the light nicely as I danced, giving me my own disco ball effect. I slipped on a pair of comfortable black sneakers and headed back out into the bathroom. 

I didn’t really want to do anything too fancy with my hair or makeup, so I threw my hair up into a ponytail and applied my normal black eyeliner and a dab of clear glitter lip gloss. I took a deep breath as I studied my reflection, second guessing my top and nearly heading back into the closet to change it. I quickly turned off the lights and headed for the front door, the sooner I was out of my house, the less chance I had to change. I headed to the left out my door and music was thumping hard from the dance hall. My uncle Fremiel stopped me as I walked past him. “You look very nice Meira.” I blushed. “Do you think it’s too much?” He shook his head, making his hair wave slightly. “No, I think it’s just enough for you.” I smiled knowing that as a father of one of the other girls he understood the delicate balance my emotions were teetering on. “Thank you.” 

He smiled and stepped out of my way, allowing me to continue. “And Meira.” He added softly and I turned towards him. “Yes?” He placed his finger under his chin, lifting it up. “Head up honey, you’re beautiful.” He smiled and it reminded me of my own dad. I nodded and lifted my head, trying to make my insides as confident as my outsides looked. The door to the dance hall was wide open and I could see the others laughing and dancing inside. It was dark enough that I couldn’t really make out identities and my stomach tied itself in knots. A warm hand softly touched my bare back and I turned hesitantly towards its owner. Amadeus stepped beside me, lowering his palm from between my shoulder blades towards my lower back. “You look lovely.” His eyes betrayed his nervousness at touching me in such a bold manner and I took a step closer toward him, trying to comfort him as I let him lead me into the hall. “Thank you.” 

I smiled as he walked me over to an empty spot along the wall, leaning his head down so I could hear him. “Zuriel isn’t back yet. Would you like to dance with me while you wait?” The song changed to another fast song and I winked at him playfully. “Who said I was here for him? If I remember correctly, you’ve always loved dancing too.” He grinned and led me out to the center of the dance floor. I was surprised to see how comfortable my sisters seemed; considering how much of a wreck I was on the inside. Aureliana winked at me from where she was dancing with Elijah and I raised my eyebrows. She smiled and turned her attention back to her partner. 

Amadeus turned to face me as we started dancing and I smiled as I noticed his outfit. He wore a black long sleeve dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the shirt hanging open over a black athletic shirt and dark jeans. If I had been dressed more normally we would have matched. His eyes met mine as he caught me scoping him out and he smirked, leaning closer. “Like what you see?” I wrapped my arms around his neck, slowing my movements to match his. “When it comes to you? Always.” He laughed, placing his hands on my hips casually. “That makes two of us.” I couldn’t help but to tease him. “So you enjoy checking yourself out then?” He shook his head laughing. “I guess I deserved that. I meant you beautiful, you are simply stunning.” Another hand wrapped around my lower back and I turned my head as Zuriel stepped beside me. “She is, isn’t she?” 

I raised an eyebrow at his black jeans and plain white t-shirt. “It took you that long to decide to wear that?” He ran his hand down his chest, watching my eyes follow his hand. “Ouch.” We all chuckled and he shook his head. “No, my dad grabbed me.” I raised an eyebrow. “Did it hurt?” He shook his head. “Nah, he just needed my opinion.” Amadeus chuckled. “I hope it wasn’t about anything important. Your opinion can be dangerous.” I rolled my eyes. "Now, now boys, behave." Zuriel smirked as he looked down at me. "And what are you going to do if we don't?" I placed my hands on my hips looking up at him. "Are you looking at me right now? Do you really want this mad at you?" He chuckled. "It depends on if you are going to try and hurt me, because that might not be a bad thing." 

I shook my head and turned my back towards him, once again facing Amadeus. "I believe we were dancing." Amadeus raised an eyebrow mischievously. "Would you like a mood adjustment?" I stepped in closer to him, sliding my hands under his over-shirt and around the back of his waist. "I might. What did you have in mind?" He wrapped his arms around my back, bringing his lips down close to mine. "I was thinking about taking your breath away." I bit my bottom lip thoughtfully. "So what are you waiting for?" He grinned, pulling me tight against him as he kissed me breathless. I heard Zuriel snort behind me, but I ignored him as I got lost in Amadeus' kiss. 

As the song ended, the house lights came on and the room let out a collective groan. Amadeus slid his arm around my back, pulling me beside him as we turned to face the stage. Our uncle Zaazanach stood on the stage beside Tartys who had been playing DJ. "We've just got the carnival up and running so we're shutting down the dance hall and lounge for now. So you all should head out past the dining room to where it's set up." Zuriel grinned and wrapped his hand around mine. "Come on baby girl; let me show you what fun looks like." I wrapped my other arm around Amadeus pulling him along. "We're a package deal." Zuriel rolled his eyes playfully. "Uh yeah! I was talking to him. You can come too, if you want." I shook my head and we all laughed, following the others out of the dance hall.

I was a little disappointed that I had wasted all of the dance time, but once I saw the carnival setup, I was quickly past it. There were games and food booths as well as rides! There was a Ferris wheel, a carousel, a ride that resembled a cake mixer, several spinning rides, bumper cars, a bounce house and a little rollercoaster. Each ride was set up with one of my uncles standing guard to operate it. Our mom was wandering around checking on everything as we arrived. “This is awesome!” I marveled as the others pointed out different rides, deciding where to start. The rides were smaller than most rides you’d find at a carnival, but considering how few of us were in attendance, it felt huge. I looked from Zuriel to Amadeus. “So, where do we start?” Two shrugs answered my question and I pointed to the nearest ride, the carousel. “How about we start here and work in a circle then?” Amadeus squeezed my shoulders and released me as Zuriel winked and tugged on my hand. 

We spent several hours like that, taking turns choosing rides and games while the guys playfully fought over me. It felt really nice to let loose and be the center of their attention at the same time. Having spent the last two years of my life with both of them had given me a really good idea of who they were. But until you are in a romantic relationship with someone, you never really know them. Being in this goofy atmosphere really helped get us past the awkwardness of being a threesome. By the end of the night I felt totally comfortable sitting squished between both of them at the same time. Mind you, part of that was due to the rides, but even as we got on the Ferris wheel; which felt much more intimate. 

I leaned my head on Zuriel’s shoulder and looked up at Amadeus, wondering if he felt just as comfortable as I knew Zuriel and I did. “How you doing over there?” He squeezed my hand that was laced through his on my knee. “I’m good. How about you?” I nodded. “I’m really happy.” He gave me one of his breathtaking model smiles. “I’m glad.” I looked up at Zuriel and then back at Amadeus. “So us being close like this doesn’t bother you?” Amadeus raised an eyebrow. “Why are you asking only me?” I smiled. “Because Zuriel and I have already talked about it, but you and I really haven’t.” He released my hand and wrapped that arm around my shoulder, squeezing me gently as he took my hand back with his other hand. “Zuriel and I have talked about it and I’m fine. You don’t have anything to worry about.” I raised an eyebrow as I looked up at Zuriel. “Did you ask him about tonight then?” Zuriel furrowed his brows and shook his head. “I figured I’d leave all that up to you. I just asked him pretty much the same thing you just did.” 

Amadeus brushed his thumb across mine. “Ask me what about tonight?” I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt very nervous. Maybe it was the quiet tone he used that made me feel like I was asking something forbidden. Or maybe it was the fact that I was only asking for something innocent in hopes of things going further. I looked down at our entwined hands and then over to the hand that Zuriel held. Why was it so much harder to ask Amadeus things? I knew he felt the same way about me. I looked up into his calm patient eyes, knowing that he didn’t take my hesitation personally. “Would you sleep over at my place tonight?” There were so many explanations I wanted to throw at him, but I kept my request short and simple. I could barely breathe for the brief second that he looked into my eyes before nodding. “If you’d like me to.” I looked down at my hands and then back up into his eyes. “I’d like you both to.” He nodded again, almost instantly that time. “Then yes, I’d be happy to.”

 
I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder, feeling flooded with relief; at least until my mouth blurted out what I was thinking. “That felt so much harder than it should have.” I clamped my eyes and mouth shut and then grimaced as the ride came to a halt to let the first set of passengers off. Amadeus squeezed my arm gently. “Hey, look at me.” I looked up into his face and he smiled kindly. “I’m your safe zone remember, you can’t upset me.” I sighed, feeling even a little more miserable. “That’s my point.” The ride moved again, stopping to let us off. Zuriel climbed out first, then me, followed by Amadeus. Zuriel smiled as we stepped out of the way for others to exit the ride. “Hey, I’m going to grab a soda and give you guys a few minutes. Do you want anything?” I smiled. “Can you bring me back one too?” He nodded and motioned to Amadeus. “You?” He shook his head. “I’ll just steal a few drinks off hers.” He winked. “Assuming you don’t mind.” I shook my head, wrapping my arms around his and hugging it. “Of course not.” Zuriel nodded and walked off.

Amadeus pointed to a bench and we walked over to it and sat down. “So talk to me.” I shook my head at the irony of having heard those words so many times in one day. “I don’t know. I feel that by telling you that you’re my safe zone I added more pressure on both of us.” I fidgeted with my hands and he took them in his. “Honey, it’s ok. We’re all new at this and little by little it’s getting easier. Just give it time, it will work itself out.” I shook my head. “But I didn’t feel that way before and I don’t feel that way around him.” I frowned. “But I used to. It’s like you have switched on me.” He laughed. “So now I’m the one who gets you all hot and bothered?” I looked up into his eyes. “Actually, yes.” His smile faded as he recognized the truth in my words. “Does that upset you?” He asked softly, his chest rising and falling as his pulse quickened. “Only because I’m afraid of how you’ll react if I want to act on it.” He glanced past me and I assumed Zuriel was waiting a little ways off. He nodded and I turned my head to verify my suspicion. “I feel exactly the same way about you he does. You are the one who assumed I didn’t because I don’t show my feelings the same way.” 

Zuriel stepped beside me, handing me my drink. “He’s right. We’ve talked about it. The only difference between us is how we express ourselves.” I shook my head. "I wish I could say I believe you. I want to, but..." I looked up at the dark sky and the stars, struggling for words to express how I felt. I took a drink of my soda, suddenly very uninterested in it and Amadeus held out his hand. "Come on." My eyes met his and I hesitantly took his hand. He stood up, leading me away from the carnival midway. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder to Zuriel who nodded and followed behind us. I tossed my nearly full soda into a trash can as Amadeus led us past the carnival and away from the center of our little community. We walked out into a field of tall grass, something I had never seen before. He smiled down at me, squeezing my hand reassuringly as we walked further out into the field. 

We walked until we could no longer hear the sounds of the carnival and then he pointed about ten feet in front of us. "Right there." I noticed an indent in the tall grass and he smiled. "That's what took Zuriel so long." Zuriel stepped up beside me smiling. "Well come on." He took my other hand and they led me to the little clearing. There was a large blanket laid out and a picnic basket on one corner. I raised an eyebrow and Amadeus smiled as they let go of my hands. "Have a seat, sit with us. Enjoy a snack and watch the stars. Just relax and stop thinking so much." I laughed and looked up at him. "Why does that sound familiar?" 
He took my hands and wrapped them around his neck, sliding his hands up my bare arms as he took a step closer to me. I shivered under his soft touch and he wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me closer to him. "Close your eyes." I closed my eyes as he asked, trying to calm my racing heart. He lowered his head, brushing his cheek against mine and breathing softly in my ear. "Can you hear the shakiness of my breath Meira?" He whispered against my neck and I nodded softly as he pressed his lips against my throat, setting my skin on fire. He splayed one hand across the center of my back and lowered the other to the waist of my jeans, pulling me tighter against him. "Do you still doubt that I want you?" He whispered against my collarbone, placing a kiss on the curve of my breast. I exhaled a shaky, lust filled breath as my body awoke with need for him. "No." I whispered, running my hands up the back of his head, petting him softly, though I wanted to pull him against me. 

Zuriel stepped up behind me, whispering softly in my ear. "Then why are you holding back?" I sighed, clamping my eyes tighter as Amadeus lifted his head. "Open your eyes." I lowered my head and he tilted my chin up so I had to look into his eyes. "This is who I am." He cupped the back of my head in his palm, pulling me into his crushing kiss. I gasped between his kisses and he slid his tongue between my lips. I wrapped my arms further around his neck, hooking my elbows and pressing myself against him. I was vaguely aware of Zuriel backing away as I returned Amadeus' kiss. Amadeus slid his hands down my back and gripped my hips tightly. 

I pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, panting softly as I struggled with my inner desires. "You're still thinking." He whispered against my lips and I nodded. "How strong are you?" I whispered and he smiled bending his knees and lifting me up off my feet. I clamped my knees down on his hips, holding myself up as I kissed him again. He wrapped an arm around my thighs and the other around my lower back holding me as he returned my kiss. I opened my mouth, nudging his lips open and ran my tongue across his lips. He laughed softly and I opened my eyes, smiling down into his. I gave him another quick kiss and then released my knees. He loosened his grip and I slid down his body, moaning quietly as his rigid shaft rubbed across my feminine need. I smiled up into his face. "Better?" Amadeus laughed. "Maybe a little." I looked down and then back up at him through my lashes as he released me and I took a step backwards. 

He was so damned addicting, they both were. I licked my bottom lip, biting it softly as I consider how my desire for them kept growing exponentially. Amadeus smiled and motioned towards the blanket behind me. I turned and sat down next to Zuriel, who had begun digging through the picnic basket. I sighed contentedly as Amadeus sat down on the opposite side of me. I smiled and lay back on the blanket looking up at the stars. "I always love looking up at our sky at night. I couldn't imagine it any other way, but mom says the sky on her home world doesn't look like this." Amadeus nodded. "My dad created our sky from his study of the universe around mom's home world. He said that on her world you could see the moon and some stars but the planets and nebulas weren't any more visible to the naked eye than the stars." I looked up at the large ringed planet; Saturn. "I couldn't imagine looking up and not seeing Saturn. I think it's my favorite." 

Zuriel leaned back on his elbows, looking up at the sky. "I love the colors of the nebulas." I bumped his foot with mine and he lifted his head, smiling at me. "I love you too." I grinned back at him. "I know." He sat up and crawled over me, looking down into my face. "You know? That's all I get?" I giggled and he poked me in the ribs. "You little villain." I pouted. "I am not. Take it back." He shook his head, poking me again. "Not until you say it back." I laughed, throwing my head back and squirming beneath him. "No! Don't tickle me!" He poked me again and I knocked his arm out from under him. He fell onto me laughing and I wrapped my arms around him, rolling him over to my side. "I do love you." He smiled, poking me again. "I know." I wrinkled my face at him and he kissed me sweetly. "You aren't a little villain." I grinned, leaning my head against his shoulder. "I know." 

Zuriel rolled onto his back, looking up at the sky. "What a day huh?" I nodded and held my hand out to Amadeus, motioning for him to lay down with us. "It certainly has been." Amadeus lay next to me, propping his head on his elbow. "Pick a moment." I smiled. "Standing on the top of the high dive; between watching you jump and Zuriel giving me a hard time for not jumping." He shook his head. "Pick something that really happened." I turned my head looking at Zuriel and smiled. "Right now." I wrapped my arm through each of theirs, taking their hands in mine and pulling them closer as I curled between them. I closed my eyes, calming my racing heart and evening my breaths.

I'm not sure how long we lay there, because I fell asleep. When I woke up I was curled up against Amadeus with my head on his chest and his over shirt draped over my back. He pet the back of my head softly as I blinked and looked up into his eyes. "Hi." I mumbled through sleepy lips and he smiled. "Hi." I yawned and stretched looking over my shoulder, surprised to see Zuriel had also fallen asleep. I smiled up at Amadeus. "How long have we been out?" He shrugged. "I'm not sure, I fell asleep too." I laid my head back on his shoulder, petting his chest softly. "How long have you been awake then?" He kissed the top of my head. "Long enough to feel you shiver and take off my shirt for you as you rolled over and tucked yourself under my arm." I smiled and Zuriel scooted closer to my back, mumbling. 

Amadeus winked at me and I rolled over, wrapping my arms around Zuriel, rubbing his cold arms. His lashes fluttered and I placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He wrapped his arm around my waist, snuggling against me and I giggled as his hair tickled my nose. He tilted his head back, blinking up at me. "Oh, hi." I smiled, brushing his hair back. "Hi." He blinked several times. "I think I was dreaming about you." I petted his head again. "Were you?" He yawned and leaned back, looking around. "Wow, how long was I out?" He sat up looking down at me and Amadeus as if he was really seeing us for the first time. "Did we all fall asleep?" I nodded and yawned. Amadeus sat up too, running a hand over my still chilled arm. "It's getting pretty cool out, maybe we should head in for the night." I frowned. "I'm sorry about your picnic." Zuriel shook his head. "Don't worry; we'll bring it with us." 

I stood up, pulling Amadeus' shirt tighter around my shoulders and he smiled. "Here, put your arms through the sleeves. I slipped my arms in and he buttoned up the shirt, grinning down at me as he did it. "What?" He winked. "I like seeing you in my clothes." Zuriel chuckled. "Putting clothes on her... didn't think that's something you'd enjoy was it." I blushed and shook my head. "You guys, I swear." Zuriel packed up the basket and then handed it to Amadeus. "Here, take this." Amadeus took the basket as Zuriel picked up the blanket and wrapped it around me. I giggled, feeling like an Eskimo until he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and scooped me up into his arms. I squealed and he laughed at me. "Just calm down so I don't drop you." I buried my face in his neck and he smiled. "Do you feel warmer?" I nodded. "I'm probably too warm now."

I really enjoyed the feeling of being tucked in his arms as he carried me back to my house. It was a pretty good distance and I kinda felt bad for him. But he never complained or even showed signs of getting tired, so I kept my face snuggled in his neck, breathing him in. As we made it past some of the other buildings, it was deadly quiet, without a single soul in sight besides the three of us. Zuriel paused at my door and Amadeus opened it for us. Zuriel carried me inside before setting me down on my feet in the middle of the living room as Amadeus followed us inside. Now that we were back inside and alone, I felt wide awake and wasn't quite ready for bed. 

I wrapped the blanket a little tighter around me and looked up at Zuriel. He smiled down at me. "Are you still cold?" I shrugged, feeling happy in my little cocoon. "I'm alright, it's just comfy." He looked at Amadeus and then back at me. "Do you still want us to stay the night?" I nodded emphatically, almost offended at the possibility of them leaving and Amadeus nodded. "We should probably go grab some clothes then." I raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. "Are you guys cold?" Zuriel shrugged. "We'll get over it." I smiled. "You could bring back your swim trunks and we could try out my giant tub." Zuriel laughed. "Why don't you get changed and start filling it up? We'll go get clothes and be back in a few." I nodded and he gave me a quick peck on the cheek before they headed towards the door. Amadeus held the door open as Zuriel stepped out. He turned back towards me, his eyes meeting mine. "I'll miss you." I whispered and he smiled. "I know and I'll miss you too. But we'll be right back." I nodded and he quickly left, closing the door behind him.