JM BENAVIDEZ

I sighed and turned back towards Amadeus and he smiled. "Is this better?" I nodded. "Yes much. I feel like a giant weight has been taken off of my shoulders." His posture seemed softer than when Zuriel had been in the room and it reminded me of when I had hugged him that morning. He took a step closer tilting my chin up so he was looking down into my eyes. "What is it? You always have this expression when you look at me today, it's like there is something you want to say but you aren't sure if you really want to." I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him gently and laying the side of my head against his chest. He laughed softly and I smiled. "That's because there is." He wrapped his arms around my back, sighing softly. "Talk to me." 

I released him and pulled him back down onto the couch. I sat next to him sideways on the couch and tucked my feet up under me. I leaned my elbow on the back of the couch and placed my head on my hand, looking at him for an inspiration on where to start. He smiled and ran his fingers down a strand of my hair that had fallen into my face. I smiled back as he tucked it behind my ear as I had done a million times. "You are so confusing to me. When I went to bed last night I thought I knew who you were, but this morning you are someone else entirely." Amadeus tilted his head as he waited for me to continue; a quirk he had picked up from his dad. I was grateful he couldn't read my emotions, but I knew he was quite adept at reading people by their actions; another trait his father had bestowed upon him. 

"Do you remember what I said to you in the first dream last night?" He nodded and a hint of displeasure passed over his face. "You said we were as different as night and day." I dropped my hand from my face, placing it over his on the back of the couch. His eyes dropped from mine to our hands and then looked back up at me. "That's who I thought you were yesterday." I frowned. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I want to be completely honest with you and some of it sounds pretty ugly." He nodded and brushed his thumb against my hand as it laid over his. I took a deep breath and shook my head. "I thought you were chauvinistic, arrogant and highly egotistical." I frowned and looked up at him. "Everything about you was perfect and you weren't afraid to let the world know it. No one could come close to you, least of all me." 

He scoffed and I tilted my head, looking at him curiously. "Meira, I'm probably more insecure than you are. I only talk loudly to keep the others from figuring it out." This time it was me who scoffed. "Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself?" He gave me a patronizing glance and I shook my head. "I'm serious. Have you ever looked at your dads' art books? You know the ones with all of the famous paintings and statues?" He raised his eyebrows and I felt foolish trying to explain myself to him. I shook my head. "Forget it." He laced his fingers through mine. "No, tell me. What about them?" I shrugged and looked down at my lap. "You belong in those books. You could rival Michelangelo's David." He pulled me into his arms and hugged me fiercely and I began to laugh. "You're picking on me aren't you?" He shook his head as he looked down at me. "No I'm not. That's the sweetest and most educated compliment I've ever heard. It really means a lot to me that you've said it." I touched his cheek tenderly. "You could be a model in any time period Amadeus and today, you've shown me that your heart is just as beautiful."

He rewarded me with a gentle kiss and a breathtaking smile. "I'm glad you can see through to the real me. After your comment in our dream last night, I wasn't so sure you'd give me the chance to show you who I am." I smiled and snuggled closer to him. "Everything about you today has screamed at me that I've been wrong." I frowned and looked up at him. "Except when Zuriel is around." He tilted his head looking down into my eyes. "I'm sorry for that. He sets me on edge sometimes." I nodded. "You and me both." I placed my hands on his cheeks, pulling him closer and looking deep into his eyes. "Amadeus, I need you like this. I need you to always be my safe zone. No matter who else is around and especially when Zuriel is around. Can you do that for me? Can you be this man, the one you are right this second?" He closed his eyes, leaning forward and brushing his temple against mine. "I want to be and I'll try hard to be, but I can't promise not to let you down." I lifted his chin, kissing him softly and then smiling into his eyes when he opened them. "That's all I'm asking for." 

I released his face and ran my hands down his throat to his shoulders and down his arms to his hands. "Zuriel speaks to me differently than you do. When he's around it's like I'm a dropped bottle of soda, just waiting to explode. My mind doesn't function well and he's always shaking me up. I need you to help ease the pressure and calm me back down." I frowned and shook my head and took his hands in mine. "Don't get me wrong, you get me all worked up too." I giggled, remembering both times he had kissed me. I looked up into his eyes. "But I feel like you know when to take a step backwards and let me catch my breath, where Zuriel just keeps upping the pressure until I feel like I'm going to pass out from lack of air." I shrugged. "Maybe it's because he's older and I let him take charge more than I should. Or that I feel just as inferior to him as I did to you." 

I looked up at him through my lashes and he smiled. "As you did? Past tense?" I leaned forward kissing him sweetly. "As I said, you are not the same man to me that you were yesterday. From the moment I heard your voice of your darkened bedroom, something about you has called to me." His eyes met mine and he smiled. "I'm here." I sighed as he repeated the words that had seemed to shatter my world. I looked up into his eyes again. "You have no idea how those words affect me." He nodded softly. "They affect you the way they are meant to." He pulled me closer to him, brushing his lips softly against mine, just shy of kissing me. "I'm right here Meira and all yours if you'll let me be." I smiled, brushing my lips against his. "Yes." He kissed me so deeply, so sweetly, so passionately that time seemed to stop as I got lost in his arms. Tender facial caresses paired with soft kisses, had my breath coming in pants and my body craving him. 

My heart pounded fiercely in my chest and he pulled back just enough to look deep into my eyes. "Breathe dear heart. I wouldn't want you to pass out." I giggled, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "And this is why I love you, you get me." He ran his hand over the back of my head adoringly. "So you love me then?" I leaned back nervously and looked into his face. "Is that alright?" He kissed me sweetly. "Of course it is, especially since I love you too." I giggled. "Does that make us crazy?" Amadeus shook his head softly. "I hope not, but if it does, then I'm crazy for you." I giggled, smiling up into his face. "See what you've done, I'm giggling like a silly girl." He smiled. "I like you that way." 

He was so close to me, as I leaned against him, practically in his lap. I caught a hint of his cologne, something I had never noticed. His eyes were half closed as he looked down at me, our lips inches apart and my heart pounding frantically against his chest. I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, except I wanted to be closer, I wanted more of him. I looked up at him through my lashes and gasped as my desire was reflected back at me. Amadeus closed his eyes inhaling sharply as I leaned towards him, running my hands across his chest. I stopped and watching his face intently. "What is it?" He placed his hands on my shoulders, pushing me backwards as he shifted beneath me. "I think you give me far too much credit. I may be your safe zone, but I'm still a man." I raised an eyebrow, looking at him curiously. "I haven't forgotten." 

He shook his head. "Although I am not Zuriel, I feel exactly the same way he does when it comes to you. I'm just a little better at hiding it." I nodded, understanding his sudden retreat. He didn't want to overstep his bounds. I wrinkled my brows as I looked at him. "Do you trust me Amadeus?" He nodded. "Yes." I nodded, preparing to test both of our boundaries in order to prove my point. "Take off your shirt." He hesitated a moment and then took off his over-shirt and laid it over the back of the couch. When he looked at me I nodded and he pulled off his undershirt as well. My breath hitched in my throat and his eyes met mine as he laid the undershirt with the other. I stood up and looked down at him. "Lay back and get comfortable." His eyes never left mine and he didn't speak a word as he did what I asked. 

When he appeared comfortable as he leaned back against the arm of the couch with his legs extended to the other side, I sat down next to him, curling up against his side. I tucked one arm behind his back and placed the other one on his chest as I laid my head over his heart. I bent my knee, draping it over his thigh and he placed his hand just above my knee as he looked down into my face. "Is that alright?" I asked, unsure if I was pinching him anywhere. He shifted, rolling towards me and pulling me closer to him. "I think that's better, is that alright for you?" I nodded and let out a shaky breath against his chest. I caressed his chest softly as I looked up into his eyes. "Will you kiss me?" 

He swallowed and placed his hand on my cheek. He looked from one of my eyes to the other before placing his lips on mine. I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in his kiss. I wrapped my arm around his neck, running my fingers through the hair at his nape as I pulled him closer with the arm wrapped around his back. Amadeus rolled forward, tucking me partially beneath him and I shifted with him, wrapping my calf around his knee. He placed his hand on my hip, stopping me from pulling him tighter against me as he broke our kiss and looked down into my eyes. I exhaled slowly and smiled. "I want to tell you something my dad told me." His brows twitched. "Ok." I placed wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me anyway. "He said he wanted me to think through my actions and not just get caught up in the moment. That any decision I make should be a rational choice, not an emotional one." He nodded. "I agree with him." 

I pulled his face closer to mine, lowering my voice. "That is part of why you are my safe zone. Not because you don't affect me in the same way that Zuriel does, because you do. The difference is that I'm able to keep my head on straight when you're this close to me." I pulled him down so that our bodies were completely touching and I wrapped my elbows around his neck, bringing his head next to mine so that I could whisper into his ear. "I have the ability to make those decisions and right now, I'm choosing to be here with you." Amadeus relaxed in my arms, giving me his weight as he held me tightly to him. His breathing was soft in my ear, but it was enough to drive me wild. I ran my hands down his back, massaging him with my fingertips. He laughed and squirmed against me as I hit a ticklish spot near his ribs and I moaned softly as he pressed his thigh between my legs. 

He gripped my hips and lifted his body so that there was space between us and he looked down into my eyes. "What was that?" I bit my bottom lip, closing my eyes and trying to control the urge to arc my body against him to recreate the sensation. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, refusing to look up into his eyes. Amadeus shifted and the next thing I knew we had rolled over and were falling off the couch. I squealed as I landed on top of him with a thud. My eyes flew open in a panic and I looked down at him. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" He ran his eyes over me and then dropped his head back, thudding it on the wood floor and bursting out in laughter. "Ow! I was until I did that." He raised his arm rubbing his head and I grabbed his head without thinking. I held it to my chest, cradling his face between my breasts without realizing I had done it. I rubbed the back of his head several times and then noticed that he had gone deathly still. I looked down and blushed, releasing him. "I'm sorry, it was instinct." 

He looked into my eyes as if he was deciding what his next move was. I looked down; hesitant about if I should get up or stay where I was. That was when he gripped the side of my face with both hands and pulled me down to him, kissing me fiercely. He knotted his hands in my hair, tilting my head back and trailing kisses down my chin and throat. I gasped as he placed a wet kiss on the hollow of my throat, running his lips over my collar bone as he released my hair and running his hands slowly down my shoulders. He pressed his fingers firmly into me as he ran his hands down my ribs to my hips, pulling me against him as he did it. I moaned softly as I felt his desire hard against me. 

Our breath came in shallow pants and Amadeus placed his forehead against my chest. "Tell me Meira, are you still thinking this through or are you allowing yourself to get lost in the moment?" I pulled my knees up so they were straddling his hips and sat up so that I was looking down at him. He lifted up onto his elbows, looking up into my face. I tucked my hair back behind my ear and smiled. "A little of both." He pushed himself up into a sitting position, so that we were looking eye to eye. "I don't ever want to be a choice you didn't make, something you can regret." I ran my hands down his arms, pulling his arms back around my waist and then placing my arms over his shoulders. "The only thing I would regret would be if you suddenly pulled away from me." He sighed, frowning. "You ask much of me." I placed my hands on his cheeks, caressing them tenderly. "I only want to be with you. If this makes you uncomfortable, tell me how to fix it. Teach me how to love you." 

He closed his eyes, exhaling in a tiny laugh. "It's not that I'm uncomfortable or that I mind what we're doing. I love every second of it, but it's hard not to lose control with you." I smiled placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I want to be a choice you make, not something you did because you let your emotions take over." He took my hands from his face and placed them over his heart. "Meira, you are a choice I've made. The question is not if I will give myself over to you, it's a matter of when; when you are ready for me to."